I hope, Courtney, that at some point , even if it is ten or fifteen years from now, you might write a book circling in some way around the theme of living with your father- and with the rest of your family- in his decline but perhaps also reimagining what family support, institutional systems, might look like for this time of life together.
I hope you are saving artifacts of this journey.
At my age I am old enough to have lost many people. I absolutely hear their language and expressions in mine, see them in places that were meaningful for us, and think of what they would have thought about something.
I absolutely feel I am carrying others with me as I continue to move in the world.
I read Soep's book as part of a personal syllabus in exploring the idea of making art entangled with other's voices, especially those we love. I've also read Samantha Hunt's The Unwritten book, and different renga poems. And the book that was a topic of a recent newsletter here too, The Emergency Was Curiosity.
I loved that Bakhtin was a character! And I really appreciate the gloss the author gives here on the book and her intentions. It was a lovely portrait of these 2 people who meant so much to her. I am working with poems and notes left by my dad, whose sudden death in 2020 devastated me and our whole family. I hear his voice in my voice, and I hear both his and my grandfather's in the intonations of my aunt, his younger sister.
I love the honoring of the unsaid that she expresses here, as well. There's so much we will never know about others, even our own kin, because we project onto them and hear in their voices things that come from US, not them.
I would love to know more how the perspective and lives and friendships shared with these friends shaped the author's voice and life. Did the friend's husband who died connect with her in life in such a way as to shape how she writes now, like Christine did? Not just the fact of his death, but how he lived his life?
This book reminds me a bit of H is for Hawk as well, as a journey through grief, and an act of using literature or literary biography (TH White in the case of H is for Hawk, Bakhtin here), to think through the ungovernable experience of loss.
Oh my -- I'm honestly not sure how/when I got signed up for your substack but am so glad I am. This post reached right through me -- and Soep quoted from two of my very favorite novels at the end! I look forward to checking out her book and reading more of your work, too.
Absolutely amazing post---so true, so gut-wrenching so, I have tears and you have moved this soul. thank you courtney. And I will be checking out those books! ASAP!
I have requested the local library system order your book and then a friend who i forwarded the post to, ended up ordering a copy as well. so we thank you for writing it. it hit me hard because I had lost a sister last sept. and she had not spoken to me for two years prior, due to a silly misunderstanding.,...It all seems so pointless. I sent her emails for 6 months but to no avail. She could be silly and stubborn, but now........
Thank you - lovely and true! to think about the words/expressions we carry - and repeat -from significant people in our lives: still alive or passed on. I think my motivations are fondness and love - honouring their humour / uniqueness / honesty / significance to my life.
This is so profound and gives me a lot to share with my husband who is an 8th grade English teacher. I would love to read more about how to integrate mutual care in parenting vs. preparing kids for conformity and isolation. Also this phrase stood out to me in your most recent post: to get out of my own way while parenting. Wow!!
I hope, Courtney, that at some point , even if it is ten or fifteen years from now, you might write a book circling in some way around the theme of living with your father- and with the rest of your family- in his decline but perhaps also reimagining what family support, institutional systems, might look like for this time of life together.
I hope you are saving artifacts of this journey.
At my age I am old enough to have lost many people. I absolutely hear their language and expressions in mine, see them in places that were meaningful for us, and think of what they would have thought about something.
I absolutely feel I am carrying others with me as I continue to move in the world.
Thank you so much for sharing these words-and Courtney, I hope so too!
I read Soep's book as part of a personal syllabus in exploring the idea of making art entangled with other's voices, especially those we love. I've also read Samantha Hunt's The Unwritten book, and different renga poems. And the book that was a topic of a recent newsletter here too, The Emergency Was Curiosity.
I loved that Bakhtin was a character! And I really appreciate the gloss the author gives here on the book and her intentions. It was a lovely portrait of these 2 people who meant so much to her. I am working with poems and notes left by my dad, whose sudden death in 2020 devastated me and our whole family. I hear his voice in my voice, and I hear both his and my grandfather's in the intonations of my aunt, his younger sister.
I love the honoring of the unsaid that she expresses here, as well. There's so much we will never know about others, even our own kin, because we project onto them and hear in their voices things that come from US, not them.
I would love to know more how the perspective and lives and friendships shared with these friends shaped the author's voice and life. Did the friend's husband who died connect with her in life in such a way as to shape how she writes now, like Christine did? Not just the fact of his death, but how he lived his life?
This book reminds me a bit of H is for Hawk as well, as a journey through grief, and an act of using literature or literary biography (TH White in the case of H is for Hawk, Bakhtin here), to think through the ungovernable experience of loss.
Thank you so much! And now I want to reread H is for Hawk!
Oh my -- I'm honestly not sure how/when I got signed up for your substack but am so glad I am. This post reached right through me -- and Soep quoted from two of my very favorite novels at the end! I look forward to checking out her book and reading more of your work, too.
Thank you so much, Mindy!
Absolutely amazing post---so true, so gut-wrenching so, I have tears and you have moved this soul. thank you courtney. And I will be checking out those books! ASAP!
Thank you so much, Jeanne!
I have requested the local library system order your book and then a friend who i forwarded the post to, ended up ordering a copy as well. so we thank you for writing it. it hit me hard because I had lost a sister last sept. and she had not spoken to me for two years prior, due to a silly misunderstanding.,...It all seems so pointless. I sent her emails for 6 months but to no avail. She could be silly and stubborn, but now........
many thanks for this incredible surge of ideas. I'm starting with Lissa's book, grateful for her insights. DD
Thank you so much, Dennis!
Thank you - lovely and true! to think about the words/expressions we carry - and repeat -from significant people in our lives: still alive or passed on. I think my motivations are fondness and love - honouring their humour / uniqueness / honesty / significance to my life.
Imitation as a form of admiration, perhaps?!
Love this idea-thank you!
It makes me wonder what I’d say to someone BEFORE they pass. Food for thought!
So true. Thank you!
Thank you for this interview. The book sounds fascinating. I just bought it. It’s on sale for $2.99 right now for Kindle FYI.
This is so profound and gives me a lot to share with my husband who is an 8th grade English teacher. I would love to read more about how to integrate mutual care in parenting vs. preparing kids for conformity and isolation. Also this phrase stood out to me in your most recent post: to get out of my own way while parenting. Wow!!