In my Sunday Times round-up, I included a snapshot of a business section piece about a new product designed to make attending to the moral life of your family easier and more efficient: a subscription service called Alltruists.
There is without a doubt at least one paragraph that just hits me like a ton of bricks EVERYTIME :). (needs a babysitter, I am not the same me (a month ago). You are such an amazing writer. We are by no means any good at it, but we brought our kids into some of our discussions (xmas giving), and some giving to others they never even met. We found that some discussions (very global, and non specific) helped plant some seeds. I think our lesson (only our small little family) is a little knowledge helps them fashion what it means to them, but we have a baseline of what is our moral structure now (we didnt before). We also make clear volunteering is lifelong I have zero idea if its going to work. I'lll let you know in 10 years :). Please keep up the phenomenal writing. its so refreshing to read each week.
Thank you so much Patrick. I love the feel of this paragraph, which feels like life, which feels like honest searching, power-shifting one conversation, choice, confusion at a time. Thanks for being you.
Totally agree that the $50 morals-in-a-box is not the right answer. Also totally agree that volunteering, school, faith institutions -- they all have serious limitations. Hope we'll all spend more time thinking about better ways to teach our kids to be mensches and to fight for what's right.
I appreciated this piece so much and your push to ask more of ourselves and our kids "we each have to shape the moral lives of our families in our own messy ways." and simultaneously embrace beauty and joy through community.
This is such an important, beautifully argued piece. I love how you point out but just the limitations of such thinking and actions, but how much our kids are capable of that we don't give them credit for. "Rather than seeing their kids’ muscles for existential questioning and action-taking as an inborn resource to be nurtured through the existing imperfect life of the family, their kids’ compassion becomes a deliverable." Thank you.
Hi folks, a reader brought to my attention that the comment section was set to only allow comments from paid subscribers. Sorry! Not my intention. Fixed now so anyone and everyone can complicate, agree, disagree with my thesis here.
Thank you so much for this post! I have struggled with feeling the limitations of "volunteering with the less fortunate" and haven't done that with my kids for that reason. I really agree with what you say above about volunteering potentially giving our kids a sense of themselves as the haves and the "other" as the have-nots. My husband and I are from different socio-economic and cultural backgrounds and our families and friends include both "haves" and "have-nots", so reinforcing that dichotomy has felt wrong to me. I don't have a better solution to giving back to my community, but I try to make sure my kids are exposed to all kinds of people living in all kinds of situations (big houses, small houses, co-housing, apartments, etc.) and try to explain the external forces that leave some community members unhoused, without health insurance, stable housing, internet, etc. I still feel like I'm not doing enough and love to see ideas in places like this blog (certainly not a box I subscribe to).
There is without a doubt at least one paragraph that just hits me like a ton of bricks EVERYTIME :). (needs a babysitter, I am not the same me (a month ago). You are such an amazing writer. We are by no means any good at it, but we brought our kids into some of our discussions (xmas giving), and some giving to others they never even met. We found that some discussions (very global, and non specific) helped plant some seeds. I think our lesson (only our small little family) is a little knowledge helps them fashion what it means to them, but we have a baseline of what is our moral structure now (we didnt before). We also make clear volunteering is lifelong I have zero idea if its going to work. I'lll let you know in 10 years :). Please keep up the phenomenal writing. its so refreshing to read each week.
Thank you so much Patrick. I love the feel of this paragraph, which feels like life, which feels like honest searching, power-shifting one conversation, choice, confusion at a time. Thanks for being you.
Totally agree that the $50 morals-in-a-box is not the right answer. Also totally agree that volunteering, school, faith institutions -- they all have serious limitations. Hope we'll all spend more time thinking about better ways to teach our kids to be mensches and to fight for what's right.
YES! How do we grow a rag tag generation of imaginative, systemically sophistically, historically informed, joyful mensches? THAT IS THE QUESTION.
I appreciated this piece so much and your push to ask more of ourselves and our kids "we each have to shape the moral lives of our families in our own messy ways." and simultaneously embrace beauty and joy through community.
Thanks for all you do to seed our beautiful messes! Love your way, Jen.
This is such an important, beautifully argued piece. I love how you point out but just the limitations of such thinking and actions, but how much our kids are capable of that we don't give them credit for. "Rather than seeing their kids’ muscles for existential questioning and action-taking as an inborn resource to be nurtured through the existing imperfect life of the family, their kids’ compassion becomes a deliverable." Thank you.
Thank you for helping me think this through. Love you.
Hi folks, a reader brought to my attention that the comment section was set to only allow comments from paid subscribers. Sorry! Not my intention. Fixed now so anyone and everyone can complicate, agree, disagree with my thesis here.
Thank you so much for this post! I have struggled with feeling the limitations of "volunteering with the less fortunate" and haven't done that with my kids for that reason. I really agree with what you say above about volunteering potentially giving our kids a sense of themselves as the haves and the "other" as the have-nots. My husband and I are from different socio-economic and cultural backgrounds and our families and friends include both "haves" and "have-nots", so reinforcing that dichotomy has felt wrong to me. I don't have a better solution to giving back to my community, but I try to make sure my kids are exposed to all kinds of people living in all kinds of situations (big houses, small houses, co-housing, apartments, etc.) and try to explain the external forces that leave some community members unhoused, without health insurance, stable housing, internet, etc. I still feel like I'm not doing enough and love to see ideas in places like this blog (certainly not a box I subscribe to).