16 Comments

This captures the heartbreaking (and heart-racing) instability that defines each day in quarantine, and you did so with the lyrical refrain that is running through my head every day. Writing works when someone else says something that you have been wrestling with, but haven't quite been able to formulate in your own mind, or articulate. Thank you, Courtney.

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author

Thank you so much, Joan. Means the world. (And you have my late grandmother's name, which gives me an extra jolt of gratitude.)

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May 13, 2020Liked by Courtney Martin

You did it again. Said, so beautifully, what is in my head and weighing on my heart. I just agreed to volunteer at the Farmers Market (is that ok?); I just rescheduled my dentist appointment that was cancelled in March (is that ok?). The list goes on and on, and I ache. I'm so grateful for you Courtney. I want to hug you (and I know that's not ok ... not yet)

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May 13, 2020Liked by Courtney Martin

Thank you. I’m so sad for the little kids, like my four-year-old grandson, who was just beginning to learn how to be a friend.

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founding

That was more than okay. A good reminder that amid the confusion and turmoil we can find more than okay, even if its fraught, or fleeting, or feels perilous.

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This is so perfect. I read somewhere the reason we are so fricking exhausted right now is from the weight of just these moral decisions we are having to weigh scores of times a day - potentially life or death decisions about things that used to be so simple and so instinctual. You’ve written it so eloquently. Thank you.

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author

Great point. I haven't quite linked the exhaustion to this directly, but of course.

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thank you for this!

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May 13, 2020Liked by Courtney Martin

Thank you, Courtney. Reading this piece first thing in the morning feels right and comforting. Okay, not okay, maybe okay, all of the above. Appreciating you, the power of sharing your words, and just continuing — thanks. Sending love to you, the girls, and that nervous architect of you asked to marry you.

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Ah, back at you Jena. Thank you. You and Eric are such lights during this time.

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My god. You got it exactly right. Thank you for putting my feelings into words. ❤️

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Amen Courtney, well done! Exactly what I am thinking and longing for every day. Best wishes to all of you. big (virtual) hugs!

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Thank you so much for sharing this. It expresses exactly how I feel. Yes, I want more!

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This was so well written and speaks to my heart. My 17 year old grandson brought groceries to us yesterday ( 1 1/2 drive one way) and I felt like a bad grandma in my heart because I couldn’t hug him! We air hugged for a while and blew kisses. I get the thought that we have to overthink everything we do. The other part I don’t like is the feeling of being angry when people tell me they don’t care, they are seeing their kids. These are friends, and it hurts my heart to be angry at them.

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I miss trusting my own instincts also. I have raised my grown children to trust their instincts but then I also ask them, Is that okay? Such a frustrating and confusing time. Thank you for your reflections that help validate my own feelings.

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This. All of this is so real and the exact truth of what we're experiencing right now. Thank you for articulating this so beautifully.

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