I found myself actually feeling the smallest twinge of anticipatory nostalgia for this moment in the shower yesterday. My life has shrunk down to a pinhole from it’s former floodlight. While I used to live by the frenetic drumbeat of a finely tuned Google Calendar, these days I grab a piece of scrap paper in the morning and handwrite a few things:
I'm carefully assembling Courtney's prolific writings in this "Examined Life" newsletter because I think that they are among her very best--and that's saying a lot. The stream of sympathetic responses to her forthright expression of rage certainly expressed my own feelings. I've always had a problem, though, about having desirable (or inevitable) effects of anger, fury or rage. I alluded to this earlier but didn't complete my thoughts, so I'll try to continue with them now, yet really wishing that I could somehow engage with Courtney personally, even joining these amazing conversations with Sarah.
So, on the one had, we know about the consistent warnings against anger, even insistence that it must be severely controlled because it's an adversary, not ally, starting with Buddha's "Dhammapada" and other religions, continuing with Gandhi and the Engaged Buddhists, especially books entitled "Anger" and "Healing Anger" by Thich Nhat Hanh and the Dalai Lama respectively. Revered counsel from spiritual sages over the ages seem predictable, but less likely perhaps is a book by Martha Nussbaum, "Anger and Forgiveness"(2016), renowned philosopher, who announces her theme in the intro. that "anger is not only not necessary for the pursuit of justice, but an impediment to the generosity and empathy that help to construct a future of justice." She allows that "Anger may still have limited utility," but again, citing an illustrious (secular) model like Nelson Mandela, "leader of a revolutionary movement," emphasizes that he's revered for forgiveness not fury. (p.8).
Staying with Mandela as an exemplar of the kind of leader that the world needs now, there's the excellent compilation of his teachings by Richard Stengel (a close associate) who observed that "He understood that expressing his anger would diminish his power, while hiding it increased it." So, along with Desmond Tutu ("No Future without Forgiveness") Mandela determined to forgive and forget. (p.98).
I know, Courtney, how much of an inspiration Mandela was to you because I have before me the treasured framed photo of his cell on Robben Island that you personally took and gave me. Concluding my lecture on anger, there's the story of Malcolm X's incredible journey. Many recall his rage but forget his conclusion near the end of his short life that "the true brotherhood I had seen in the Holy World had influenced me to recognize that anger can blind human vision." (Autobiography, ch 19, p.382).
All of this is not intended as a display of pedantry or to deny in any way the distress that I share with Courtney and those who empathized with her authentic eloquence. I'm cooped up in a 1200' apartment now, unable even to go outside, but I can still enjoy lengthy conversations with Sharron (we celebrate our 59th next month, hoping that our children can join us by then). Through the marvels of google meeting (not zoom), I'm able to reach my high school Ethics class despite the closure of all public schools for the rest of term. And, Courtney, Barnard is alive with online courses, and even I, in my dotage, have participated in one called "Change and Climate Change," starting with Gandhi's enduring maxim, "YOU must be the change..."
Many thanks for giving me this opportunity to post. Of course, Sharron and I wish that we could walk with you and your awesome family in Portland's sublime forest as we did last May. Thinking of "anticipatory nostalgia," can we do that again this summer? Love, Dennis
I feel this, too, especially the freedom from all scheduling. I dread that part of re-entry, should that happen soon--weird thing is, it feels inevitable. Kids tend to thrive on regularity but gawwwwwsh it can be deadening (for parents) sometimes.
This is absolutely spot on. Thank you for sharing and capturing what so many of us are feeling right now.
I'm carefully assembling Courtney's prolific writings in this "Examined Life" newsletter because I think that they are among her very best--and that's saying a lot. The stream of sympathetic responses to her forthright expression of rage certainly expressed my own feelings. I've always had a problem, though, about having desirable (or inevitable) effects of anger, fury or rage. I alluded to this earlier but didn't complete my thoughts, so I'll try to continue with them now, yet really wishing that I could somehow engage with Courtney personally, even joining these amazing conversations with Sarah.
So, on the one had, we know about the consistent warnings against anger, even insistence that it must be severely controlled because it's an adversary, not ally, starting with Buddha's "Dhammapada" and other religions, continuing with Gandhi and the Engaged Buddhists, especially books entitled "Anger" and "Healing Anger" by Thich Nhat Hanh and the Dalai Lama respectively. Revered counsel from spiritual sages over the ages seem predictable, but less likely perhaps is a book by Martha Nussbaum, "Anger and Forgiveness"(2016), renowned philosopher, who announces her theme in the intro. that "anger is not only not necessary for the pursuit of justice, but an impediment to the generosity and empathy that help to construct a future of justice." She allows that "Anger may still have limited utility," but again, citing an illustrious (secular) model like Nelson Mandela, "leader of a revolutionary movement," emphasizes that he's revered for forgiveness not fury. (p.8).
Staying with Mandela as an exemplar of the kind of leader that the world needs now, there's the excellent compilation of his teachings by Richard Stengel (a close associate) who observed that "He understood that expressing his anger would diminish his power, while hiding it increased it." So, along with Desmond Tutu ("No Future without Forgiveness") Mandela determined to forgive and forget. (p.98).
I know, Courtney, how much of an inspiration Mandela was to you because I have before me the treasured framed photo of his cell on Robben Island that you personally took and gave me. Concluding my lecture on anger, there's the story of Malcolm X's incredible journey. Many recall his rage but forget his conclusion near the end of his short life that "the true brotherhood I had seen in the Holy World had influenced me to recognize that anger can blind human vision." (Autobiography, ch 19, p.382).
All of this is not intended as a display of pedantry or to deny in any way the distress that I share with Courtney and those who empathized with her authentic eloquence. I'm cooped up in a 1200' apartment now, unable even to go outside, but I can still enjoy lengthy conversations with Sharron (we celebrate our 59th next month, hoping that our children can join us by then). Through the marvels of google meeting (not zoom), I'm able to reach my high school Ethics class despite the closure of all public schools for the rest of term. And, Courtney, Barnard is alive with online courses, and even I, in my dotage, have participated in one called "Change and Climate Change," starting with Gandhi's enduring maxim, "YOU must be the change..."
Many thanks for giving me this opportunity to post. Of course, Sharron and I wish that we could walk with you and your awesome family in Portland's sublime forest as we did last May. Thinking of "anticipatory nostalgia," can we do that again this summer? Love, Dennis
this is the best mom writing i've read. so glad i found you. how old are your kids? my daughter is 16 months old.
Thank you for sharing your inspiring thoughts... much appreciated.
I feel this, too, especially the freedom from all scheduling. I dread that part of re-entry, should that happen soon--weird thing is, it feels inevitable. Kids tend to thrive on regularity but gawwwwwsh it can be deadening (for parents) sometimes.