"My time was mostly my own, even if I didn’t fully understand that then. I got tired, wrung out, overwhelmed, but recovery was always within close reach". This. I didn't appreciate this before becoming a mom. This recovery piece it still just still out of my reach - 14 years into motherhood!
I took my youngest and her BFF, my bonus kid, to NYC for the first time for their 15th birthdays this past fall. How I wish I could post pics to go with this comment! They were hilarious and glorious. *My* BFF, who is one of my kid's three fairy godmothers, paid for us to stay in a hotel in midtown because they were having work done on their house in Jersey so we couldn't crash. That first night the teens insisted we had to find Instagrammable Japanese desserts at 10 PM, which never would have occurred to me. They couldn't navigate their way out of a paper bag, but I know the city so I got us to this super cute little place full of pink neon and ate delicious, picture-perfect desserts.
The next day they took HOURS getting street ready and the things they wanted to do, again, never would have occurred to me-- go to Sephora, get mochi donuts and Korean hotdogs, go to a thrift store in Brooklyn (we compromised on Manhattan just so as not to have to haul all those bags back for an hour on the subway), and wander through Times Square. They insisted we had to go to Soho just because they'd heard of it, and then when we got there and walked through it headed towards the East Village they were weirdly offended. "It's so bougie!", they exclaimed disdainfully. I could have told you that, I thought, but better you figured it out for yourself.
By the time we trained back out to Fairy Lisa's to pick up our car and drive home we were all EXHAUSTED but I wouldn't have traded being part of their first adventure in the city for anything. It was absolutely magical.
This essay reminds me of many trips past and future. I took a long train trip with my daughter Kate when she was about 6 and I was 41. We took a sleeper car from Indiana to Lancaster, PA, to attend my grandfather's funeral. Both of us still remember eating French toast as we rounded the hairpin curve in the mountains early in the morning. It was quite an adventure for us. Consciously choosing to make memories matters.
In a few weeks Stuart and I will be taking our grandson, now age 12.5, on a coming-of-age trip to Iceland, the place he chose from the Road Scholar grandparent trip options we presented to him. He is learning about carbon sequestration and the role Icelandic rock is playing in that hopeful development. And we all think Iceland history and culture is cool.
I never had the kind of extended career start as an independent woman in a new city that you had, Courtney. I was married at age 21, before I finished college. I waited until ages 27 and 35 to have children, and I also had experienced some of my career opportunities altered by motherhood. I am glad I made the choices I did then to prioritize family without giving up career. But it wasn't easy, and I try never to judge another woman who made different choices or who had different choices made for her.
This is an incredibly moving story of Maya and Courtney in NYC! It eloquently conveys and connects their adventure in the city with a flow of memories that Courtney and I share when we were together at Barnard over 20 years ago. Thanks for this treasure trove of experiences! DD
I loved this, Courtney, and I sent it to my Anna, who now has two glorious girls, one little firecracker born just before July 4 four years ago, and another 6 weeks old. When Anna was 4, I decided I wanted to go to Ireland with my husband, and I hesitated before finally deciding to bring her, too, and not just leave her with grandparents. I'm so glad I did. Innkeepers went crazy over Anna; my elderly cousins on my family's farm adored her; I loved watching her play on the same hills on which her great-great-grandfather played as a boy. She taught my husband, my brother and me every song she knew from nursery school and made up more during hours of driving. It was fabulous for all of us. Tell Maya her trip to NYC is the first of many adventures.
I just did a trip with my 11 and 9 year old daughters to NYC in April. I also lived in NY - for grad school in my late 20s. Seeing NYC from kids persepctive is so funny. Who knew Times Square could offer so many lessons on social equity, creativity, capitalism, expression, crowd control! Both of them loved the big buildings, LOVED Broadway & the theater, the food - but were not impressed with how dirty it was or the RATS (And frankly the rats are more out of control than I've ever seen!). Not sure either one will spend time there at young adults - but I got some time to keep brainwashing :).
I loved this Courtney! I never had children, but it helped me to realize that I can still have the experience of revisiting parts of my past from this new vantage point of 70 and be curious about what I will discover this time around.
I loved this piece so much, Courtney! I recently took my then 8-month-old daughter on our first mother-daughter trip. Sort of the reverse of you...We went back to SF, where I had lived for the past 10 years before having my daughter; I also moved while pregnant- back to Pittsburgh, PA where I grew up (to be closer to my family with the baby). I hope it was the first of many trips for us, following in the footsteps of my own mom, with whom I’ve taken many special 1:1 trips!
I swear my daughter knew our trip was special- she was smiling even more than usual and really taking it all in!
I also remember the first time my mom took me to New York City when I was 16. I can still picture the awe I felt getting out of our cab and stepping into the city’s special energy.
Can’t wait to let my daughter design her own trip some day, inspired by you and Maya! Big fan of your newsletter and devoured Learning in Public. Thank you for your work!
Courtney, this memoir brought me back to so many moments in NYC and to my first days with Roxie in Guatemala. Do you have any time on Friday or the weekend to zoom?
"My time was mostly my own, even if I didn’t fully understand that then. I got tired, wrung out, overwhelmed, but recovery was always within close reach". This. I didn't appreciate this before becoming a mom. This recovery piece it still just still out of my reach - 14 years into motherhood!
I took my youngest and her BFF, my bonus kid, to NYC for the first time for their 15th birthdays this past fall. How I wish I could post pics to go with this comment! They were hilarious and glorious. *My* BFF, who is one of my kid's three fairy godmothers, paid for us to stay in a hotel in midtown because they were having work done on their house in Jersey so we couldn't crash. That first night the teens insisted we had to find Instagrammable Japanese desserts at 10 PM, which never would have occurred to me. They couldn't navigate their way out of a paper bag, but I know the city so I got us to this super cute little place full of pink neon and ate delicious, picture-perfect desserts.
The next day they took HOURS getting street ready and the things they wanted to do, again, never would have occurred to me-- go to Sephora, get mochi donuts and Korean hotdogs, go to a thrift store in Brooklyn (we compromised on Manhattan just so as not to have to haul all those bags back for an hour on the subway), and wander through Times Square. They insisted we had to go to Soho just because they'd heard of it, and then when we got there and walked through it headed towards the East Village they were weirdly offended. "It's so bougie!", they exclaimed disdainfully. I could have told you that, I thought, but better you figured it out for yourself.
By the time we trained back out to Fairy Lisa's to pick up our car and drive home we were all EXHAUSTED but I wouldn't have traded being part of their first adventure in the city for anything. It was absolutely magical.
This essay reminds me of many trips past and future. I took a long train trip with my daughter Kate when she was about 6 and I was 41. We took a sleeper car from Indiana to Lancaster, PA, to attend my grandfather's funeral. Both of us still remember eating French toast as we rounded the hairpin curve in the mountains early in the morning. It was quite an adventure for us. Consciously choosing to make memories matters.
In a few weeks Stuart and I will be taking our grandson, now age 12.5, on a coming-of-age trip to Iceland, the place he chose from the Road Scholar grandparent trip options we presented to him. He is learning about carbon sequestration and the role Icelandic rock is playing in that hopeful development. And we all think Iceland history and culture is cool.
I never had the kind of extended career start as an independent woman in a new city that you had, Courtney. I was married at age 21, before I finished college. I waited until ages 27 and 35 to have children, and I also had experienced some of my career opportunities altered by motherhood. I am glad I made the choices I did then to prioritize family without giving up career. But it wasn't easy, and I try never to judge another woman who made different choices or who had different choices made for her.
This is an incredibly moving story of Maya and Courtney in NYC! It eloquently conveys and connects their adventure in the city with a flow of memories that Courtney and I share when we were together at Barnard over 20 years ago. Thanks for this treasure trove of experiences! DD
I loved this, Courtney, and I sent it to my Anna, who now has two glorious girls, one little firecracker born just before July 4 four years ago, and another 6 weeks old. When Anna was 4, I decided I wanted to go to Ireland with my husband, and I hesitated before finally deciding to bring her, too, and not just leave her with grandparents. I'm so glad I did. Innkeepers went crazy over Anna; my elderly cousins on my family's farm adored her; I loved watching her play on the same hills on which her great-great-grandfather played as a boy. She taught my husband, my brother and me every song she knew from nursery school and made up more during hours of driving. It was fabulous for all of us. Tell Maya her trip to NYC is the first of many adventures.
I just did a trip with my 11 and 9 year old daughters to NYC in April. I also lived in NY - for grad school in my late 20s. Seeing NYC from kids persepctive is so funny. Who knew Times Square could offer so many lessons on social equity, creativity, capitalism, expression, crowd control! Both of them loved the big buildings, LOVED Broadway & the theater, the food - but were not impressed with how dirty it was or the RATS (And frankly the rats are more out of control than I've ever seen!). Not sure either one will spend time there at young adults - but I got some time to keep brainwashing :).
I loved this Courtney! I never had children, but it helped me to realize that I can still have the experience of revisiting parts of my past from this new vantage point of 70 and be curious about what I will discover this time around.
This made me extra teary because it made it so easy to imagine the trips I'll get to take with my currently 8mo Maya in the future. 🧡
I loved this piece so much, Courtney! I recently took my then 8-month-old daughter on our first mother-daughter trip. Sort of the reverse of you...We went back to SF, where I had lived for the past 10 years before having my daughter; I also moved while pregnant- back to Pittsburgh, PA where I grew up (to be closer to my family with the baby). I hope it was the first of many trips for us, following in the footsteps of my own mom, with whom I’ve taken many special 1:1 trips!
I swear my daughter knew our trip was special- she was smiling even more than usual and really taking it all in!
I also remember the first time my mom took me to New York City when I was 16. I can still picture the awe I felt getting out of our cab and stepping into the city’s special energy.
Can’t wait to let my daughter design her own trip some day, inspired by you and Maya! Big fan of your newsletter and devoured Learning in Public. Thank you for your work!
Courtney, this memoir brought me back to so many moments in NYC and to my first days with Roxie in Guatemala. Do you have any time on Friday or the weekend to zoom?