15 Comments

Your post resonated with me very much a white woman who is trying to understand what is behind the complacency of SO many white women that would drive them to not only vote for Trump once -- but TWICE. Last weekend, many of the white female "lifestyle influencers" I follow on Instagram, sadly, did not even *acknowledge* the presidential election or its implications for racial justice (and so many other critical social issues) and the rejection of Trump and all of his attempts to tear our country apart. Not to mention its historic significance for women -- especially women of color. Many of these same white female-led Insta accounts (~150K+ followers) were posting BLM content the summer, sharing graphics about peace/unity and urging followers to support Black-owned businesses. But on the historic day when a the world learned Biden had won the election... silence. (Ok, a few were regurgitating the same pitch to join their "community" of Doterra essential oil users).

Other than unfollow them, what can be done to hold them accountable for their silence? I got blocked by a couple of prominent blogger moms, both based in Utah, for questioning their silence in the most non-confrontational way possible via DM. But I was clear: I was disappointed that they were not acknowledging this very consequential real life event and that white privilege keeps us from even addressing what this election means for those who are relentlessly marginalized in society. The clap-back was swift and confused (e.g. What do you mean by privilege?? You are a closed minded and ignorant and part of the problem of hate in this world. Spread love not lies."). But where is the lie? IDFK. White complacency and fragility were on full display. The stakes were simply not as high from them, personally, so it was a choice to say nothing. In my opinion, in 2020 its completely tone-deaf to remain apolitical no matter how big of an audience you have. And definitely not so you can keep your followers happy so they continue to swipe up. (S/O to the handful of white women-led Insta accounts that DID recognize the significance of the day!)

I respect your opinion very much and would love to hear any insights on this dilemma. I understand that the bigger impact can be made by having these hard conversations with people in our own families and friends, but I also feel these social media influencers can't ignore the elephant (or donkey?) in the room when it comes to politics.... Thanks for listening to this rant!

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This is fascinating, thank you for surfacing it. I think it sounds like you handled it in a beautiful way via direct, private communication. It makes me really angry that the response was to block you rather than engage with you. This is the work of our time for women like us -- engage, engage, engage.

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I really appreciate what you shared here Courtney. I too have difficulty trying to figure out how to talk with the other half of white women in the U.S.

And in My Grandmother's Hands by Resmaa Menekam, and Valarie Kaurs See No Stranger, and in a certain way Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmerer--The underlying work of healing is non verbal. Nonverbal in terms of nonthinking-through doing things together-like humming, prayer, honoring, drumming, dancing, singing, laughing, breathing. Taking a break from trying to hear each others thoughts, beliefs and stories and simply being together in simple ways...I wonder a lot about this and what would shift over time...

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YES! And it is so hard to do this online, I feel. One of our challenges will be finding in person spaces together to be present, joyful, "beyond" politics--when covid is under control.

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Courtney, as someone inclined toward calls of unity, I needed to read this. Thank you.

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Ahh... thank you for writing so eloquently exactly the sentiments I've been seeking to express. Beautiful.

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Courtney, thank you for clarifying my concern that “unity”, though it sounds like a plan will not pull our country together when in reality a little less than 1/2 of the votes cast I do not understand. This morning while listening to NPR, I mentioned to Jay that I can finally breath again when I listen to the news in the morning..... does this mean that 70 million voters that caste ballots for Trump are feeling incredibly disenfranchised as I did for the last 4 years. Yes.... I need to reach out, be open minded and listen..... I’ll keep my fingers crossed that this will be one of the steps that “pay it forward” to a better country....

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So well described. Sending love.

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I've been thinking about this, too. Thank you. And so the work begins...

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What you're calling for is the real work. I've always felt it starts at the grassroots (not with pundits) though both angles influence each other. At other "map moments" in recent decades, I've looked around for models of working to find the underlying unities we are not aware of . How do we penetrate what SEEM to be differences but may not be? (This is even part of undoing racism, I am convinced.) I have 3 suggestions: (1) A friend in Massachusetts started this project linking "red" and "blue" rural communities https://www.handsacrossthehills.org/ which seems to be going strong now. (2) Also a project of the Shumacher Center just caught my eye--a series of webinars coming up that explore ways of looking for "emergent narratives" in polarized situations https://centerforneweconomics.org/newsletters/all-struggles-are-connected/. (3) Finally,in my Buddhist circles, we are passing around this link to what sounds to be an extraordinary webinar about transforming the roots of difference, a panel on the topic "Healing Divisions: Embracing our Common Humanity." sponsored by the Global Citizens Circle. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HOPe8KuVghs&feature=youtu.be

4 speakers with experiences of rising up from hate from very different starting places.

Tony McAleer, spent years as a neo-nazi white supremacist leader who "got out" and has been working with other "formers" to heal the hate.

Diasy Kahn , a Muslim American works for rights of women in the Muslim world

Rosalie Gerut, a Jewish woman founded "One by One" that does healing work with children of Holocaust survivors and children of Nazis

Belvie Rooks, an black woman who has worked with gang youth on Los Angeles, and did a healing journey along the path of the slave trade and the Underground Railroad

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Thank you Louise! As you might remember, I know Belvie's amazing daughter. I'll look into these.

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Thank you for this list Louise! So helpful.

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Thank you for calling out David Brooks. My sentiment exactly!

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Thank you for this, Courtney. Fiercely spot-on.

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I am still too darn upset with the pro Trump people that I am not ready to work with them. I’d rather drop kick them off the planet. Thank you for your always thoughtful and incisive input.

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