I love this so much, and it's so timely for me! I'm preparing to post a story next week called "Where Feminists and Tradwives Can Agree" that laments the devaluation of care work and how it hurts us all. As a progressive feminist who has long been the primary income earner in my home, I've focused a lot of energy on pursuing a career, but I deeply mourn the lack of time I have at my disposal when it comes to caring for my home, family, and community.
I'll never forget sitting bleary-eyed in a strategic planning meeting 10 weeks after my daughter was born and asking myself, "What the f*ck am I doing here?" Why am I concentrating my energy on quarterly marketing priorities when I have an infant at home who needs my sustenance, nurturing, and care?
I'm so happy to see more talk about the "care economy" and why we ALL -- career women, homemakers, childfree women, mothers, and, crucially, men -- so desperately need to put care work front and center.
Thank you for another important conversation about sacred (holy, as Elissa calls it) work. In the words of Ram Das, “We are all walking each other home.” Words to live by!
I think it is really important for people who are overwhelmed with aspects of caretaking, or who feel that they are somehow less valuable or respected because they are caretakers, to talk with each other about their experiences and to trouble-shoot together if they can.
I know my mother had a hard time being a mother but, because of the era in which she was a mother, I think she wouldn't have wanted to admit that to anyone.
As a result my sister and I grew up the targets of her frustrations, utterly convinced that she would have been happier not having had us at all.
Very not good as a way to grow up.
I think those taking care of children with special needs, teens and older young people with mental illness, or elders with infirmities similarly should figure out whether they can find people who also have such roles so that frustrations do not land hard on those who cannot help it that they need care.
By coincidence Anne Helen Peterson of Culture Study raised the issue of elder care (again) to her community today, so people are sharing their frustrations and challenges as caretakers often lacking the social and institutional supports that would make the work less painful or isolating.
Just stumbled upon your substack and I am so glad I did. I loved this piece, both your thoughtful writing and questions and Elissa's answers. Buying her book as soon as I finish writing this comment! Looking forward to reading more of your work too!
I love this so much, and it's so timely for me! I'm preparing to post a story next week called "Where Feminists and Tradwives Can Agree" that laments the devaluation of care work and how it hurts us all. As a progressive feminist who has long been the primary income earner in my home, I've focused a lot of energy on pursuing a career, but I deeply mourn the lack of time I have at my disposal when it comes to caring for my home, family, and community.
I'll never forget sitting bleary-eyed in a strategic planning meeting 10 weeks after my daughter was born and asking myself, "What the f*ck am I doing here?" Why am I concentrating my energy on quarterly marketing priorities when I have an infant at home who needs my sustenance, nurturing, and care?
I'm so happy to see more talk about the "care economy" and why we ALL -- career women, homemakers, childfree women, mothers, and, crucially, men -- so desperately need to put care work front and center.
Thank you for another important conversation about sacred (holy, as Elissa calls it) work. In the words of Ram Das, “We are all walking each other home.” Words to live by!
I think it is really important for people who are overwhelmed with aspects of caretaking, or who feel that they are somehow less valuable or respected because they are caretakers, to talk with each other about their experiences and to trouble-shoot together if they can.
I know my mother had a hard time being a mother but, because of the era in which she was a mother, I think she wouldn't have wanted to admit that to anyone.
As a result my sister and I grew up the targets of her frustrations, utterly convinced that she would have been happier not having had us at all.
Very not good as a way to grow up.
I think those taking care of children with special needs, teens and older young people with mental illness, or elders with infirmities similarly should figure out whether they can find people who also have such roles so that frustrations do not land hard on those who cannot help it that they need care.
By coincidence Anne Helen Peterson of Culture Study raised the issue of elder care (again) to her community today, so people are sharing their frustrations and challenges as caretakers often lacking the social and institutional supports that would make the work less painful or isolating.
Just stumbled upon your substack and I am so glad I did. I loved this piece, both your thoughtful writing and questions and Elissa's answers. Buying her book as soon as I finish writing this comment! Looking forward to reading more of your work too!