Okay, this is becoming a meme of sorts. We had parenting. We had not parenting. And now we’ve got grandparenting. I couldn’t not share these reflections from my college professor, Dennis Dalton, on his sacred bonds with his grandchildren. He replies thoughtfully almost every time I send a newsletter, despite the fact that I took his class over 20 years ago now! A true legend at Barnard—often found outside the lecture hall of his Political Theory I or II classes long after they were over, chatting about anything and everything on a students’ mind, his raspberry beret perched atop his bald head. Sometimes that student would be an 18-year-old, earnestly grappling with the Platonic “examined life” (ahem, see Professor Dalton’s influence on the title of this very newsletter?!). Sometimes it would be an aging bookseller from the street’s of Harlem who heard about his classes and slipped in the back. Often it was me, of course, one of his biggest fans for life.
Last night I was hugged by my 45 year old son, the only one of my 7 children I have seen since Covid began. The tears arrived immediately after. I cannot imagine what it will be to hug my grandson who went from 7 to 9 since last we were together or my granddaughter who I have yet to meet and hold. Your professor's relationship with his granddaughters prompted as much sorrow as it did joy for what I am missing in life. This pandemic has more ways of killing us than just the virus.
I took this relationship from my father who wanted it badly and would have given his all to my children because his and my relationship was so troubled. Reading this I wish I could have back those years and could give them all this unhindered love. Alas.
Perhaps I can give my own grandchildren that gift, should my children decide to have their own.
Courtney, your letters always inspire me, and your “unbearable” meditations have touched me at my core. My husband and I are planning a move to be near our daughter on the east coast as she starts a family. We are leaving other beloved family members on the far coast, along with friends and a cherished way of life. I’ve had doubts about our choice, but today’s contributions from a grateful grandpa confirmed what we knew in our hearts. Thank you both for this life and love-affirming post.
OMG I am in tears -thank you for such heartfelt posting. our grandaughters are now in college and , too , hope that the bond will be remembered and cherished by them as it is in our hearts.
Last night I was hugged by my 45 year old son, the only one of my 7 children I have seen since Covid began. The tears arrived immediately after. I cannot imagine what it will be to hug my grandson who went from 7 to 9 since last we were together or my granddaughter who I have yet to meet and hold. Your professor's relationship with his granddaughters prompted as much sorrow as it did joy for what I am missing in life. This pandemic has more ways of killing us than just the virus.
I took this relationship from my father who wanted it badly and would have given his all to my children because his and my relationship was so troubled. Reading this I wish I could have back those years and could give them all this unhindered love. Alas.
Perhaps I can give my own grandchildren that gift, should my children decide to have their own.
Courtney -this is a remarkable article. It's so powerful. This man is a giant among men. Thank you for this beautiful piece.
Courtney, your letters always inspire me, and your “unbearable” meditations have touched me at my core. My husband and I are planning a move to be near our daughter on the east coast as she starts a family. We are leaving other beloved family members on the far coast, along with friends and a cherished way of life. I’ve had doubts about our choice, but today’s contributions from a grateful grandpa confirmed what we knew in our hearts. Thank you both for this life and love-affirming post.
OMG I am in tears -thank you for such heartfelt posting. our grandaughters are now in college and , too , hope that the bond will be remembered and cherished by them as it is in our hearts.