"The ability to hold the old story alongside the new story is what allows the continued connection." This simple, eloquent sentence holds volumes, and cuts right to the heart of things for me, thank you.
My husband and I have a great nephew who has in the past couple of years gotten himself in a little trouble. Also like you all we’ve been adopted by a beautiful dog who also has apparently had at least one litter of pups and also wears physical and emotional scars of abuse. Once we had to be away from our home for a couple more hours than we’d thought and so asked our nephew if he could give our dog a potty break and then maybe sit with her for a bit. Soon we were being sent a picture of Ellie sitting calmly in our livingroom when we had rarely found her anywhere but hiding in our closet. We asked our nephew what he had done to coax her out to which he replied, “I don’t know….nothing….she just followed me.” That first visit was not a miracle cure for either; Ellie still hides sometimes in the closet and our nephew has had more visits with school personnel. I think though that they heal each other a little every time they are together
There’s an inspiring obituary in today’s NY Times about Monty Roberts who trained wild horses through kindness and nonviolent behavior rather than aggressive methods. This complements Courtney’s story of her rescue dog and serves as a model for human empathy. DD
Thank you for sharing this beautiful reflection. In 2021, I adopted a two year old rescue dog who lived a terrible life before my home. She was highly reactive to other dogs, men, cars — you name it, she felt threatened by it. She was also so anxious that her sweet cuddling verged on unhealthy inability to not be touching me or my husband at all times (a 65 lb lap dog!). We did SO much training and it was one of the hardest and most emotional journeys. A big, big, BIG help was putting our sweet pup on Prozac. I highly recommend it to help further soothe her strung out nervous system while you continue to train her and also show her she’s safe now. It’s hard for a dog to learn anything when they’re in constant vigilant threat assessing and reacting mode. Best of luck to you! Beware of terrible dog training advice — there’s a LOT out there!
Oh, dearest Courtney, you hit it out of the park again. I can now recognize wisdom like yours when I see it…..but it took me over 70 years to get here!
This reflection is beautiful and feels healing just to read it. This part resonates for sure: "We live in a country obsessed with cures, a nation that creates so much suffering because we refuse to tell the truth and let it be a portal, because we are afraid to heal honestly, which is to say messily and with a lot of uncertainty about how it is all supposed to unfold."
Two thoughts crossed my mind while reading your insightful essay - curing/healing. First, great shout out to Reimagining Dementia! Second, Molly Tuttle’s song Crooked Tree came to mind as you mentioned your husband’s scoliosis.
"The ability to hold the old story alongside the new story is what allows the continued connection." This simple, eloquent sentence holds volumes, and cuts right to the heart of things for me, thank you.
My husband and I have a great nephew who has in the past couple of years gotten himself in a little trouble. Also like you all we’ve been adopted by a beautiful dog who also has apparently had at least one litter of pups and also wears physical and emotional scars of abuse. Once we had to be away from our home for a couple more hours than we’d thought and so asked our nephew if he could give our dog a potty break and then maybe sit with her for a bit. Soon we were being sent a picture of Ellie sitting calmly in our livingroom when we had rarely found her anywhere but hiding in our closet. We asked our nephew what he had done to coax her out to which he replied, “I don’t know….nothing….she just followed me.” That first visit was not a miracle cure for either; Ellie still hides sometimes in the closet and our nephew has had more visits with school personnel. I think though that they heal each other a little every time they are together
I adore this story so much. Thank you for sharing it.
There’s an inspiring obituary in today’s NY Times about Monty Roberts who trained wild horses through kindness and nonviolent behavior rather than aggressive methods. This complements Courtney’s story of her rescue dog and serves as a model for human empathy. DD
Thank you for rescuing and not buying a dog. This is healing embodied. So glad she's safe with you now. <3
Love! We call this iterative and ongoing healing - a daily weaving of all that we have been with all that we, are and all that we are becoming…
Thank you for sharing this beautiful reflection. In 2021, I adopted a two year old rescue dog who lived a terrible life before my home. She was highly reactive to other dogs, men, cars — you name it, she felt threatened by it. She was also so anxious that her sweet cuddling verged on unhealthy inability to not be touching me or my husband at all times (a 65 lb lap dog!). We did SO much training and it was one of the hardest and most emotional journeys. A big, big, BIG help was putting our sweet pup on Prozac. I highly recommend it to help further soothe her strung out nervous system while you continue to train her and also show her she’s safe now. It’s hard for a dog to learn anything when they’re in constant vigilant threat assessing and reacting mode. Best of luck to you! Beware of terrible dog training advice — there’s a LOT out there!
I really love this distinction--curing does not equal healing and healing does not equal curing. And healing is usually what we need most.
Oh, dearest Courtney, you hit it out of the park again. I can now recognize wisdom like yours when I see it…..but it took me over 70 years to get here!
Thank you dear Joan!
Thank you Courtney. This was wonderful. For me, what you say needs to be learned and re-learned. Your stories helped so much. What a beautiful dog.
You have been a healing mentor since we met. Thank you Louise.
This reflection is beautiful and feels healing just to read it. This part resonates for sure: "We live in a country obsessed with cures, a nation that creates so much suffering because we refuse to tell the truth and let it be a portal, because we are afraid to heal honestly, which is to say messily and with a lot of uncertainty about how it is all supposed to unfold."
Two thoughts crossed my mind while reading your insightful essay - curing/healing. First, great shout out to Reimagining Dementia! Second, Molly Tuttle’s song Crooked Tree came to mind as you mentioned your husband’s scoliosis.
Stunning essay.
This post resonates so deeply; I wanted it to keep going!
Beautiful, thank you!