As someone who has always been in many respects an outsider, I have had a long-standing compelling wish to reach my arms around those who might feel disconnected, to make people feel themselves part of a wide embrace. This spirit has permeated my road through life, vocationally and personally.
One thing I have found is that the energy that goes into that embrace needs to have some seasons. Or at least it does at my age.
I do live by a feeling of connection, even if I am at a distance, and want others to feel it whether or not arms are explicitly reaching out. Each of us is part of that assembly of spirited creation and action, one of multitudes living and making side by side across space and time. I wish for us all to feel that and do work toward it continuously.
Hi! I’ve read this post and the comments with some interest. Deep-seated introvert at heart, I do actually like making small talk with random strangers (especially in grocery store lines).
I’m now quite definitively middle-aged (57 this summer!), single, work remotely full-time since Covid. The years of connecting with other parents at elementary school functions or sports games is over. It’s hard to seek connection...
I’m very intrigued by these conference comments. Aside from the tech one someone mentioned, what other types of conferences are you all going to??
Courtney's absolutely radiant smile, at the end of the table in this group photo, reminds me of how she would respond at Barnard to new ideas in class over 20 years ago. Thanks for these memories! We can't repeat too often Forster's classic maxim "Only connect..." That's the forever lesson for our era. Sharron and I happened to have a wonderfully engaging conversation yesterday with the owner of a local restaurant here in Portland whom we had never met before. We instantly bonded at a level that redeemed Portland's wonderful atmosphere of conviviality that we've found ever since moving here from Manhattan 12 years ago. People do connect here, so come and enjoy it! DD
This is so apt - thanks for such a thoughtful reflection on the power of the conference (in all its immersive, if often cliquish, glory). I resemble these remarks.
I recently signed up for a conference, at which I think I won't know anyone, so I am definitely hoping to take more in... and hopefully, I won't isolate once I meet one or two people.
I do love feeling connected and I've been texting more friends lately. We've lost some of our habits of gathering, but we are building up to them again, and considering which types of gatherings we love best.
It is comforting and delightful to hear of Jocelyn's experience in rural WV, my home state. I have avoided returning there for too many years because of its politics and religious fundamentalism. There are people to be loved everywhere, though, and maybe it's time to go back after all. I could use a 'small town' fix.
Thank you for this post on conference as joyful reunion, & the Seven of Pentacles poem. I recently registered to attend a women tech conference at a company I once loved, for a glimpse of the future our staff only dreamed of when we used guided imagery in strategic planning 20 years ago. What will keep me looking up and out, “tangling and interweaving and taking more in” is if I bring my authentic Corporate Crone self & act as a host of this conference, being a welcoming, network-weaving presence for other invisible “newcomers” like myself who might wonder if they really do belong there.
I’ll intentionally connect with the organizers in person, introduce myself as an “Alumna” at this company’s “homecoming”, and then enjoy intuitively cross-pollinating conversations with people I meet there. “What would you love to see/make happen as a result of this gathering?”
I’m always open to synchronicities, in hallways, the buffet line, waiting for formal “sessions” to “start”, and I’ve met people in these magical in-between spaces who have become long-time friends and colleagues, whose fields have influenced my own. Any awkwardness I might have felt, for inviting myself to someplace where no one thought to invite me, will be replaced by curiosity and energizing conversations interweaving past/present/future: “Where are we going, and how might we go together?”
I was grumbling and full of regret as I tried to get from Scotland to Liverpool a few weeks ago, for my field's annual conference and then sat around the table the next night and thought "ah, this is why I make the journey...." but I really appreciate the reminder to open up the circle to new folks, and especially more junior folks. As a PhD student, a lecturer invited me out for ice cream during the break, and we chatted about my fieldwork, life, etc and it was so meaningful, and I should be doing that for others.
As someone who has always been in many respects an outsider, I have had a long-standing compelling wish to reach my arms around those who might feel disconnected, to make people feel themselves part of a wide embrace. This spirit has permeated my road through life, vocationally and personally.
One thing I have found is that the energy that goes into that embrace needs to have some seasons. Or at least it does at my age.
I do live by a feeling of connection, even if I am at a distance, and want others to feel it whether or not arms are explicitly reaching out. Each of us is part of that assembly of spirited creation and action, one of multitudes living and making side by side across space and time. I wish for us all to feel that and do work toward it continuously.
Wow, what a gorgeous description of you modus operandi, Fritzie. It's like a metta meditation.
Oh I love that poem, thank you for sharing! 7 of Pentacles happens to be my tarot card of the month, and it's resonating.
Hi! I’ve read this post and the comments with some interest. Deep-seated introvert at heart, I do actually like making small talk with random strangers (especially in grocery store lines).
I’m now quite definitively middle-aged (57 this summer!), single, work remotely full-time since Covid. The years of connecting with other parents at elementary school functions or sports games is over. It’s hard to seek connection...
I’m very intrigued by these conference comments. Aside from the tech one someone mentioned, what other types of conferences are you all going to??
Courtney's absolutely radiant smile, at the end of the table in this group photo, reminds me of how she would respond at Barnard to new ideas in class over 20 years ago. Thanks for these memories! We can't repeat too often Forster's classic maxim "Only connect..." That's the forever lesson for our era. Sharron and I happened to have a wonderfully engaging conversation yesterday with the owner of a local restaurant here in Portland whom we had never met before. We instantly bonded at a level that redeemed Portland's wonderful atmosphere of conviviality that we've found ever since moving here from Manhattan 12 years ago. People do connect here, so come and enjoy it! DD
This is so apt - thanks for such a thoughtful reflection on the power of the conference (in all its immersive, if often cliquish, glory). I resemble these remarks.
I recently signed up for a conference, at which I think I won't know anyone, so I am definitely hoping to take more in... and hopefully, I won't isolate once I meet one or two people.
I do love feeling connected and I've been texting more friends lately. We've lost some of our habits of gathering, but we are building up to them again, and considering which types of gatherings we love best.
How brave! Thanks for the inspiration, Tyrean.
It is comforting and delightful to hear of Jocelyn's experience in rural WV, my home state. I have avoided returning there for too many years because of its politics and religious fundamentalism. There are people to be loved everywhere, though, and maybe it's time to go back after all. I could use a 'small town' fix.
THERE ARE PEOPLE TO BE LOVED EVERYWHERE. My new favorite sentence.
Thank you for this post on conference as joyful reunion, & the Seven of Pentacles poem. I recently registered to attend a women tech conference at a company I once loved, for a glimpse of the future our staff only dreamed of when we used guided imagery in strategic planning 20 years ago. What will keep me looking up and out, “tangling and interweaving and taking more in” is if I bring my authentic Corporate Crone self & act as a host of this conference, being a welcoming, network-weaving presence for other invisible “newcomers” like myself who might wonder if they really do belong there.
I’ll intentionally connect with the organizers in person, introduce myself as an “Alumna” at this company’s “homecoming”, and then enjoy intuitively cross-pollinating conversations with people I meet there. “What would you love to see/make happen as a result of this gathering?”
I’m always open to synchronicities, in hallways, the buffet line, waiting for formal “sessions” to “start”, and I’ve met people in these magical in-between spaces who have become long-time friends and colleagues, whose fields have influenced my own. Any awkwardness I might have felt, for inviting myself to someplace where no one thought to invite me, will be replaced by curiosity and energizing conversations interweaving past/present/future: “Where are we going, and how might we go together?”
“Where are we going, and how might we go together?” What a question! Thank you Mary!
I was grumbling and full of regret as I tried to get from Scotland to Liverpool a few weeks ago, for my field's annual conference and then sat around the table the next night and thought "ah, this is why I make the journey...." but I really appreciate the reminder to open up the circle to new folks, and especially more junior folks. As a PhD student, a lecturer invited me out for ice cream during the break, and we chatted about my fieldwork, life, etc and it was so meaningful, and I should be doing that for others.