I loved this post and I found myself coming back to it throughout the day. Just now, the moon was shining bright in my corner of the world and I thought back on your words: “Give time for the clouds to part.” Thanks for putting into words what I needed to hear.
Perfect timing for me today, Courtney....thank you. It's sobering to realize how much of what I say, think, and do comes from convoluted motivations, including, as you have shared, my hopes and dreams.
I needed a reminder to honour the sadness of loss, and acknowledge that my dreams are only my dreams, and perhaps not the best for everyone.
(It's a comfort to know I'm not the only one feeling like I am making a mess /taking missteps in relationships :)
It's true-we have this day, and the beauties and challenges therein. It's enough for me to attempt to be present and focused right now.
I am a grandma, hiding behind my Covid cloud. I didn't realize it. Until I can imagine a clear sky, the other side, I pray for clouds. " I miss my instincts something awful." You said it.
Thank you, so many times over, for this. My cadre of women (we’ve been together for 32 years) was discussing dreams just last week (not the sleeping kind.) This adds another layer to my mullings. Now I’ll be on the lookout for those dreams I didn’t know I had.
Big love coming to you Courtney and I hope and pray that by the next long weekend that's available to you, your parents will be ready for re-entry into the world of full contact love and grandparenting. I've heard an echo of this from so many people as the bubble opens up. They are reluctant and confused by their reluctance; disappointed in themselves for not feeling more eager, but also disappointed in other for not understanding. I know your family has enough grace for each other to get through this and your honesty will inspire more honest conversations in other families too. May we see the light of the moon through the clouds of our own expectations.
I am that grandmother who has been in hiding for over a year and has no plan, just dreams, for seeing my grandson who turned nine 4 days ago, and my granddaughter who turned one month. Their parents are medically sensitive (one has a new kidney) and working jobs that put them into contact with the most irresponsible people when it comes to wearing masks, keeping their distance, and not spitting on the sidewalk! My husband and I have not received our second vaccination yet and NH can't seem to get the vaccination sites in place to guarantee we will get our shots before the first one 'expires.' There are so many dreams deferred, I no longer believe in any of them.
Appreciate this more than you know, Courtney.
I loved this post and I found myself coming back to it throughout the day. Just now, the moon was shining bright in my corner of the world and I thought back on your words: “Give time for the clouds to part.” Thanks for putting into words what I needed to hear.
Love imagining this, thanks Michelle.
"But it turns out, we are being vaccinated against COVID-19, not family dynamics." Lord yes.
Perfect timing for me today, Courtney....thank you. It's sobering to realize how much of what I say, think, and do comes from convoluted motivations, including, as you have shared, my hopes and dreams.
I needed a reminder to honour the sadness of loss, and acknowledge that my dreams are only my dreams, and perhaps not the best for everyone.
(It's a comfort to know I'm not the only one feeling like I am making a mess /taking missteps in relationships :)
It's true-we have this day, and the beauties and challenges therein. It's enough for me to attempt to be present and focused right now.
Should we start a band called Convoluted Motivations?
Despite no talents in playing a musical instrument, or singing, I would be a full fledged member. ( Or maybe you meant a different kind of band :)
I am a grandma, hiding behind my Covid cloud. I didn't realize it. Until I can imagine a clear sky, the other side, I pray for clouds. " I miss my instincts something awful." You said it.
Thank you, so many times over, for this. My cadre of women (we’ve been together for 32 years) was discussing dreams just last week (not the sleeping kind.) This adds another layer to my mullings. Now I’ll be on the lookout for those dreams I didn’t know I had.
So cool! I feel like these under-the-radar women's groups are what makes the world go round.
Big love coming to you Courtney and I hope and pray that by the next long weekend that's available to you, your parents will be ready for re-entry into the world of full contact love and grandparenting. I've heard an echo of this from so many people as the bubble opens up. They are reluctant and confused by their reluctance; disappointed in themselves for not feeling more eager, but also disappointed in other for not understanding. I know your family has enough grace for each other to get through this and your honesty will inspire more honest conversations in other families too. May we see the light of the moon through the clouds of our own expectations.
I am that grandmother who has been in hiding for over a year and has no plan, just dreams, for seeing my grandson who turned nine 4 days ago, and my granddaughter who turned one month. Their parents are medically sensitive (one has a new kidney) and working jobs that put them into contact with the most irresponsible people when it comes to wearing masks, keeping their distance, and not spitting on the sidewalk! My husband and I have not received our second vaccination yet and NH can't seem to get the vaccination sites in place to guarantee we will get our shots before the first one 'expires.' There are so many dreams deferred, I no longer believe in any of them.
So sorry to hear about all that your family is weathering. Hope the clouds part soon.