18 Comments

This entire piece is exquisite, Courtney. Printing it to keep in my journal and return to again and again... this all feels as true now with the teens and toddlers as it did when I was tending my mother in her last months... and it will be true again as my father moves into a new season and begins to list towards the nearest loving hand. Thank you for sharing. And yes to Mary Oliver over Mother Theresa.

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Pay exquisite attention.

(Mantra for life.)

Thank you Courtney.

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They won't necessarily remember that you cared for them, but you will remember.

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This dovetails so beautifully with last week's Sunday5/#1 ("Learning to Love My Father as His Mind Unravels"), which I can't stop thinking about. Specifically around the importance of presence; humor; curiosity; embracing imperfection; leaning into joy ("scan for delight"); flexibility ("there should be new rules next week"). Sharing all of this with my bro, who is the local point person for my mother's care. (After asking his permission -- #ConsensualHelp!) Gracias, Courtney!

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Amazing point, Nancy. And thanks for the close read of both!

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❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

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Beautiful!

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I love all the entries on these lists, especially: Patterns of care are a rhythm of energy and offerings. It is pattern keeping, not problem solving, that is the real basic unit of artful caregiving. “Consider everything an experiment.”

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Isn’t Sister Corita absolutely astounding?!

I like Rule 7 about the only rule is Work. This reminds me of Mother Teresa and Courtney’s wonderful book, “Do It Anyway”. Everyone should read it!

The part about manual labor is truly and deeply Gandhian. Thanks for this inspiration!

DD

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Absolutely inspiring! Sister Corita’s work is truly remarkable. Thank you for sharing this insight.

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Thanks for gently calling out my desire to experience this season of our lives perfectly! Your version of these rules (helpful in themselves) is such a good reminder.

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I am sending this far and wide. Once again, thank you dear Courtney. Love Mary

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I've reread this three times over for my primary hats: mother, creative soul, and entrepreneur. Each time I gleamed something new. I'll be saving, quoting, printing, sharing... Ah!! I needed this.

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This resonates with me on so many levels. Thank you for sharing.

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This is the most beautiful article I’ve read in a long time.

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This piece is such a gift. Such a balm. Full of supportive reminders and intuitive discovery and deep knowing. Thank you for reminding me what care is made of. What I am made of. What we are all made of.

I am raising a toddler while my dad’s Alzheimer’s continues and your writing continues to be a source of support so thank you.

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Whipping or wiping?

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Dep wiping. Caught and changed online.

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