how lucky we are that you open these doors and windows for us. xxxx
(also how domestic life got a reputation for being less rich, wild, challenging and transcendent than out of the house adventures is truly truly beyond me)
Stunning writing. The observation that sometimes it's harder to be the one watching than the one sinking is one of those ideas that feels obvious once someone says it but somehow never gets named. That framing of families as evolving ecosytems rather than static units is something I've been thinking through in my own life lately -- the roles we play shift so gradully you don't even notice until you're already in a different one.
I can see and feel the love, challenge, patience, reflection and humanity in your beautiful writing. Healing takes a lot of work....but you and your momma know how to do "hard work". Love
this piece buoyed my spirits today. I loved your description of a family not being static and it really resonated with the theme of "everything is change" that I've been working on with my mediation group.
Courteny - I've never heard that description of 'eldest daughter' emotional coping. It all sounds suspiciously familiar :)
I am exploring a major life transition and have patted myself on the back because I acknowledge the emotional and spiritual energies it requires, rather than blithely assuming I can power through a major life event .... and then discover the toll it has taken.
Please take good care. You're living a loving, challenging life.
Your mom is fantastic! I know from meeting her at Barnard! She’s a superstar and you’re incredibly lucky to have her at your side in this magnificent family!!
Great piece, Courtney! your mom must be fantastic. I've been thinking about these evolutions a lot lately as I move into more of a caregiver role for my mom and in-laws and also as our dynamic with our kids changes as one of them hits new milestones in his independence - driver's license, first girlfriend, first trip to NYC without us, etc., etc., and the younger one enters his teen years. An ever-shifting dance.
YES! A friend and I were just discussing the amazing triad of puberty-perimenopause-aging simultaneously in one house. Wow, intergenerational transition.
It is easier when held together. I birthed with husband there and was alone post partum both times. One was sick alot. Neither family came to help. I learned in my parents death too i was holding that alone as well. May we all continue to work for better ecosystems that evolve together and help us sink and stand together.
So much to love, here. The families as never static image (sometimes subtle, sometimes tectonic) has such an obvious but mesmerizing flow to it....I will be carrying that little nugget around with me for a while. And your mom....
how lucky we are that you open these doors and windows for us. xxxx
(also how domestic life got a reputation for being less rich, wild, challenging and transcendent than out of the house adventures is truly truly beyond me)
Well, you've certainly made the case gorgeously. Thanks E.
Stunning writing. The observation that sometimes it's harder to be the one watching than the one sinking is one of those ideas that feels obvious once someone says it but somehow never gets named. That framing of families as evolving ecosytems rather than static units is something I've been thinking through in my own life lately -- the roles we play shift so gradully you don't even notice until you're already in a different one.
Thank you! These were the two insights my subconscious wanted to thread together as I was walking around my life and you named them.
I can see and feel the love, challenge, patience, reflection and humanity in your beautiful writing. Healing takes a lot of work....but you and your momma know how to do "hard work". Love
families as “constantly evolving ecosystems” is such a profound statement…lovely story! (lisa nahmanson)
this piece buoyed my spirits today. I loved your description of a family not being static and it really resonated with the theme of "everything is change" that I've been working on with my mediation group.
Ha! I literally said "everything is change" as I was walking my girls to school today. ❤️
Oh my goodness, Courtney. This incredibly beautiful evocation of birth and aging and family is a gift to us all. Thank you!
Courteny - I've never heard that description of 'eldest daughter' emotional coping. It all sounds suspiciously familiar :)
I am exploring a major life transition and have patted myself on the back because I acknowledge the emotional and spiritual energies it requires, rather than blithely assuming I can power through a major life event .... and then discover the toll it has taken.
Please take good care. You're living a loving, challenging life.
I will, thank you Terry!
Your mom is fantastic! I know from meeting her at Barnard! She’s a superstar and you’re incredibly lucky to have her at your side in this magnificent family!!
Love, DD❤️
Thanks DD. Love and miss you!
Great piece, Courtney! your mom must be fantastic. I've been thinking about these evolutions a lot lately as I move into more of a caregiver role for my mom and in-laws and also as our dynamic with our kids changes as one of them hits new milestones in his independence - driver's license, first girlfriend, first trip to NYC without us, etc., etc., and the younger one enters his teen years. An ever-shifting dance.
YES! A friend and I were just discussing the amazing triad of puberty-perimenopause-aging simultaneously in one house. Wow, intergenerational transition.
Love this piece!
I absolutely loved this.
Yes times 1000
It is easier when held together. I birthed with husband there and was alone post partum both times. One was sick alot. Neither family came to help. I learned in my parents death too i was holding that alone as well. May we all continue to work for better ecosystems that evolve together and help us sink and stand together.
So much to love, here. The families as never static image (sometimes subtle, sometimes tectonic) has such an obvious but mesmerizing flow to it....I will be carrying that little nugget around with me for a while. And your mom....
Mother daughter goals ❤️
Such beautiful writing. You are my absolute favorite Substack account. Thank you for your vulnerable, real, raw, exquisite offerings.
What high praise! Thank you.