Oct 25, 2023·edited Oct 25, 2023Liked by Courtney Martin
Thanks for this, Courtney. This is very humane and balanced and loving and realistic. We could all use more of that these days, about this war and every crisis confronting us right now.
I did choose to write about the war last week, which scared the crap out of me. I wrote about my own struggles around responding to violence as someone who grew up as a pacifist and still aspires to claim that position. Though I don't always manage it, and sitting with the discomfort of that reality helps me maintain some humility and loving openness to everyone in this moment.
Late the night I published I saw a FB message come in from a friend of mine who proudly claims the position of Zionist and I found myself afraid to open it, practicing all the ways in which I could protect my own righteousness and walk away from any conversation with my current perspective unchanged. And then, lying there in the dark, I had to witness my own bullshit and say to myself, Really, Asha? You literally wrote about keeping your heart open less than 8 hours ago. How's that going for you?
I opened the message. She thanked me for my attempts to be measured and careful in my communication. She didn't say anything that I was afraid she would say-- about Palestinians, about me, or anything else. She told me she was hurting and scared. I told her it made sense she felt that way and sent her so much love. She said thank you, and that was the end. What else, person to person, was there to do? Not much, I don't think.
God this is gorgeous. This is happening all over the world right now and we aren't telling the story because it's small and gentle and sad and subtle. Thank you for telling it here. I feel a tiny bit of my humanity restored just reading it.
Oct 25, 2023·edited Oct 25, 2023Liked by Courtney Martin
Thank you for this. Thank you for questioning instead of opining, and for holding the gray area instead of picking a side. The woman on the hill says everything.
Your line about the email one-liners made me think again about the message I sent to my landlords yesterday, who do have painful connections to everything going on now. “I’ve been thinking about you and your family and friends, and also the toilet is leaking.”
This was helpful for me as I wrestle with my impatience with performative outrage, the complexity of these issues, and my struggles to understand my responsibilities in this moment.
Emulate Iceland’s spirit of protest! See article in today’s NYT about mass protest against gender inequality. It’s a nationwide strike. Totally nonviolent and united. Let’s start now as a movement for peace! DD
Thanks for writing Courtney. Every day feels urgent to say something and act. This moment feels like that in decades to come, we will remember how we felt and what we did in this particular juncture of time.
I wrote about this on my Substack: https://shagufta.substack.com/p/october-15th-is-infant-and-pregnancy. I’m an equity consultant and I’m Muslim, and I find myself in the role of helping organizations and individuals reach out and care about those in their sphere, fight against Islamophobia and anti-Semitism and act in ways that relate to their values. And it’s hard because there is so much bad news coverage in the US and a general tamping down of discussion and dissent. At the same time, the comments sections online jump to name calling often. But I have hope that we can (and are) do this learning and appreciate you articulating your thoughts.
Thank you for sharing your piece. It is so painful and so beautiful. I am so sorry for your losses and the way you were treated by the medical establishment - it's inexcusable. Talk about "do no harm." I have never heard this: "trauma is going through too much, too fast, or having too little for too long."
Thank you so much for the photo of the woman on the hillside taking action to help protect the area from wildfires. Her ongoing work, year after year, is its own meaningful statement.
The reason you write about this, to partially answer your question, is because this is what you do so incredibly well: take your heartfelt wonderings, enlarge your inquiry, and figure out a meaningful response….which we your subscribers then can read and integrate into our wonderings…always helpful, always! ❤️
This is really helpful. Last week I finally broke my silence too (though the stakes are lower when you have fewer readers- it still felt intimidating!). The way I could figure out how to show up and take up the ‘right’ amount of space was to write about what I do know and the metaphor of how nature can be a powerful healer from trauma. I’m not suggesting that Israelis and Palestinians can just go for a walk in a forest and all will be hunky dory. Instead I’m saying that some degree of healing exists in human experiences with more-than-human nature. And it helps me to hold on to that.
Thank you for this piece. As I flail about trying to figure out what feels real and true and how to align towards that, I appreciate your writing so much and learn so so much from the way you show up in the world.
Thank you, Courtney, for naming what’s been on my mind and heart. In addition to considering “what can I do now that would help?” in my personal circles, I hold a role (along with others) at a non-profit where we are also considering what to do/say/what not to do/say. Intellectual humility ftw. When George Floyd was murdered, I led a (different) non-profit to draft and publish a Statement of Commitment to Anti-Racism. The process itself was illuminating and generative. The response was mixed, with some wondering why we were engaging at all and others noticing the disconnect between our words and our actions - e.g. our hiring practices. I’m still glad we did it. Through choosing the words and signing our names, we each entered a new phase of self-reflection and accountability. And, in light of today’s multiplicity of humanitarian crises, I’ll aim to include in any statement a reminder of the potential for each of us to normalize the vision of a world without war.
Thank you Courtney, I am thinking very much like you. I just posted yesterday how guilty I feel at times that life can be so good for me and so horrific for others ... and what is one to do? I am the woman walking alone in the wild ... that's my act of resistance to all of this. I love the quote “If your circuits are overwhelmed there’s a reason and the reason isn’t because you are heartless, it’s because there is not a human heart on this planet that can bear all of what is happening right now.” Here's the link to what I wrote on the subject if you're interested. https://suemuncaster.substack.com/p/my-60th-rotation-around-the-sun I
As usual, you get to the heart of the matter, Courtney. Those of us who care deeply while trying to stay informed by reliable sources are having to weigh our long-held ideals against realities. When none of the options is palatable and one’s ideals are in direct conflict with each other, it gets personal and becomes about the long term survival of one’s loved ones. Darwinian. Thank you for sharing our pain and confusion.
Thanks for this, Courtney. This is very humane and balanced and loving and realistic. We could all use more of that these days, about this war and every crisis confronting us right now.
I did choose to write about the war last week, which scared the crap out of me. I wrote about my own struggles around responding to violence as someone who grew up as a pacifist and still aspires to claim that position. Though I don't always manage it, and sitting with the discomfort of that reality helps me maintain some humility and loving openness to everyone in this moment.
Late the night I published I saw a FB message come in from a friend of mine who proudly claims the position of Zionist and I found myself afraid to open it, practicing all the ways in which I could protect my own righteousness and walk away from any conversation with my current perspective unchanged. And then, lying there in the dark, I had to witness my own bullshit and say to myself, Really, Asha? You literally wrote about keeping your heart open less than 8 hours ago. How's that going for you?
I opened the message. She thanked me for my attempts to be measured and careful in my communication. She didn't say anything that I was afraid she would say-- about Palestinians, about me, or anything else. She told me she was hurting and scared. I told her it made sense she felt that way and sent her so much love. She said thank you, and that was the end. What else, person to person, was there to do? Not much, I don't think.
God this is gorgeous. This is happening all over the world right now and we aren't telling the story because it's small and gentle and sad and subtle. Thank you for telling it here. I feel a tiny bit of my humanity restored just reading it.
Here's what I published, in case it's helpful to anyone.
https://ashasanaker.substack.com/p/working-for-peace
Oh this is so beautiful, thank you. I wish I'd read it before writing my piece. Lots of food for thought there.
Thanks for reading, Courtney. Happy to have you over in my corner of Substack world anytime. <3
Thank you for this. Thank you for questioning instead of opining, and for holding the gray area instead of picking a side. The woman on the hill says everything.
Your line about the email one-liners made me think again about the message I sent to my landlords yesterday, who do have painful connections to everything going on now. “I’ve been thinking about you and your family and friends, and also the toilet is leaking.”
This made me LOL, which is exactly what we also need to do be doing right now. Life, am I right?
This was helpful for me as I wrestle with my impatience with performative outrage, the complexity of these issues, and my struggles to understand my responsibilities in this moment.
Emulate Iceland’s spirit of protest! See article in today’s NYT about mass protest against gender inequality. It’s a nationwide strike. Totally nonviolent and united. Let’s start now as a movement for peace! DD
Thanks for writing Courtney. Every day feels urgent to say something and act. This moment feels like that in decades to come, we will remember how we felt and what we did in this particular juncture of time.
I wrote about this on my Substack: https://shagufta.substack.com/p/october-15th-is-infant-and-pregnancy. I’m an equity consultant and I’m Muslim, and I find myself in the role of helping organizations and individuals reach out and care about those in their sphere, fight against Islamophobia and anti-Semitism and act in ways that relate to their values. And it’s hard because there is so much bad news coverage in the US and a general tamping down of discussion and dissent. At the same time, the comments sections online jump to name calling often. But I have hope that we can (and are) do this learning and appreciate you articulating your thoughts.
Thank you for sharing your piece. It is so painful and so beautiful. I am so sorry for your losses and the way you were treated by the medical establishment - it's inexcusable. Talk about "do no harm." I have never heard this: "trauma is going through too much, too fast, or having too little for too long."
I will also say that I read this today by the brilliant novelist Hala Alyan and it feels worth sharing: https://www.nytimes.com/2023/10/25/opinion/palestine-war-empathy.html
“Intellectual humility” is such a helpful lens here.
Thank you so much for the photo of the woman on the hillside taking action to help protect the area from wildfires. Her ongoing work, year after year, is its own meaningful statement.
I love you. I love you. I love you. Thanks for this.
I love you!
The reason you write about this, to partially answer your question, is because this is what you do so incredibly well: take your heartfelt wonderings, enlarge your inquiry, and figure out a meaningful response….which we your subscribers then can read and integrate into our wonderings…always helpful, always! ❤️
This is really helpful. Last week I finally broke my silence too (though the stakes are lower when you have fewer readers- it still felt intimidating!). The way I could figure out how to show up and take up the ‘right’ amount of space was to write about what I do know and the metaphor of how nature can be a powerful healer from trauma. I’m not suggesting that Israelis and Palestinians can just go for a walk in a forest and all will be hunky dory. Instead I’m saying that some degree of healing exists in human experiences with more-than-human nature. And it helps me to hold on to that.
Thank you for this piece. As I flail about trying to figure out what feels real and true and how to align towards that, I appreciate your writing so much and learn so so much from the way you show up in the world.
Thanks dear Jen. Back at you. Your art is both spark to act and balm for knowing others share our pain.
Yes please to this. As you frequently do, you hit the nail on the head. Thank you for putting words to all the feelings.
Thank you, Courtney, for naming what’s been on my mind and heart. In addition to considering “what can I do now that would help?” in my personal circles, I hold a role (along with others) at a non-profit where we are also considering what to do/say/what not to do/say. Intellectual humility ftw. When George Floyd was murdered, I led a (different) non-profit to draft and publish a Statement of Commitment to Anti-Racism. The process itself was illuminating and generative. The response was mixed, with some wondering why we were engaging at all and others noticing the disconnect between our words and our actions - e.g. our hiring practices. I’m still glad we did it. Through choosing the words and signing our names, we each entered a new phase of self-reflection and accountability. And, in light of today’s multiplicity of humanitarian crises, I’ll aim to include in any statement a reminder of the potential for each of us to normalize the vision of a world without war.
Thank you Courtney, I am thinking very much like you. I just posted yesterday how guilty I feel at times that life can be so good for me and so horrific for others ... and what is one to do? I am the woman walking alone in the wild ... that's my act of resistance to all of this. I love the quote “If your circuits are overwhelmed there’s a reason and the reason isn’t because you are heartless, it’s because there is not a human heart on this planet that can bear all of what is happening right now.” Here's the link to what I wrote on the subject if you're interested. https://suemuncaster.substack.com/p/my-60th-rotation-around-the-sun I
As usual, you get to the heart of the matter, Courtney. Those of us who care deeply while trying to stay informed by reliable sources are having to weigh our long-held ideals against realities. When none of the options is palatable and one’s ideals are in direct conflict with each other, it gets personal and becomes about the long term survival of one’s loved ones. Darwinian. Thank you for sharing our pain and confusion.