13 Comments

I haven't had a chance to listen to the episode just yet, but as I read your question: How can we wake up from our delusions? I was immediately reminded of Vanessa Andreotti's work. I'm presently leading a deep, slow, rearranging group read of her delusion decomposing book Hospicing Modernity. It might be part of what you're looking for.

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Oh can't wait to check out, thanks for the rec dear Nicole.

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Well, I never knew about my first crisis until my Mother shared with me (in my sixties) that they (she and my father) thought they were going to lose me from starvation just after birth. Later among my father's notes, he referred to this as "Robert's near-death experience." I was a painfully shy child, fearful. So the question "am I safe?" or "will my basic needs be met?" seems like an honest return to my "first question in crisis." It would have been nice to know this growing up as that question has dominated my stance towards the world. And, I imagine my parents believed they were protecting me. To get to my delusions, I must slow down, pause, and take a deep look at the narratives I keep telling myself. That was a provocative (in the best sense) prompt. And I remember fondly your writing and presence at On Being. And Dorothy Day is a hero of mine as well. Talk about how to be in the world!

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Yesterday was Rosa Parks Day in Portland Oregon. The city is amazing! It commemorated the day by making all public transportation free! Dorothy Day would have appreciated this tribute as well as my other favorite female activists from those years of civil disobedience. Do you follow Emma Goldman and Barbara Deming who were repeatedly arrested and jailed for nonviolent resistance? These heroic examples should be emulated now in this moment of national crisis! DD

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Writing my memoir has helped me clarify the questions that live at the heart of my life. One is, for sure, WTF is actually going on here and can we talk about that, please?!? The other, which I feel like is the question that then arises directly from the first for me: How do we love each other well in the face of this world as it actually exists?

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"How do we love each other well in the face of this world as it actually exists?" What an amazing question! yes yes yes

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Mine has long been the same as Dorothy Day's, without the Christian aspect. How can we promote the mindset and imagination to live and act entirely from love? I believe, without particular evidence, that the vast majority of us are born there and are drawn to those kinds of people and characters and heroes. And then it changes for so many people. I have never understood why abundant love, deep and broad, is not the most compelling orientation.

Not entirely by coincidence given these times, I am reading Rebecca Solnit's A Paradise Built in Hell and am on the chapter about Dorothy Day.

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How do we find the voices to listen to and the voices to offer that clarify the way forward?

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This is such an interesting prompt. I think my first question was "How can we stay safe?" and I don't think I have ever been able to move beyond it. I work in Emergency Preparedness- specifically climate related disasters but I respond to any evolving emergency threatening the health and safety of people in my state. Writing it all out feels a bit too on the nose but I think it there is something to learn from laying it out like this. My childhood was very unstable and I had to survive. I thrive when things are going wrong and I try to use that to help other people but I also would really love to find the answer to my question and rest.

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Wow, so interesting Rachel. I just did a Slate episode you might find moving, given your role: https://slate.com/podcasts/how-to/2025/02/how-to-recover-from-disaster

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I think my question is why. I never understood society the way it is. If cars are bad for the environment why do we drive them? If nobody likes to commute why do we do this?

Over time these became bigger questions like why inequality and why work period.

What are we doing all this for? Why?

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I've been such a big fan of this notion of a First Question, and of your writing Courtney, for a very long time (so much so, I actually painted this concept a few years ago https://www.instagram.com/p/CoKRVu3O9G2/).

And you're so right to call out that we return to these original questions during times of crisis... for clarity, courage, agency and a reminder of our true heart.

My First Question has always been about purpose, talents and contribution. What is my unique contribution to the world, and how can I use my talents to help others unlock their unique contributions, too? When I first trained as a coach, I wrote my very first Life Purpose Statement which, not surprisingly, relates directly back to this First Question: "My Life Purpose is to give the gift of Ashley so that others may find and use their gifts."

In this time of chaos and crisis, I'm thinking intentionally and slowly about how to answer my own First Question, in new, creative and purposeful ways, to create the world I wish for.

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How to be of help?

Look, listen, get close, respond.

With kindness and care.

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