It’s been a few weeks of mysterious viruses in little bodies around here—fluid built up on the ears, puking at dawn, stuffiness and snores and staying home from school. I can’t say that my anxiety over my daughters’ bodies has dulled. Lord knows a global pandemic didn’t help. Nine years into this mothering journey, the sound of Maya racing to the bathroom to throw up still sends my own body into a flight-or-fight tailspin. But I have learned to talk to the anxiety. I soothe Maya’s back and get a scrunchie for her hair, and when she’s back in her bunk bed, wrapped in a soft blanket, I soothe my own nervous system.
Oct 19, 2022·edited Oct 19, 2022Liked by Courtney Martin
I will confess that when my babies were actual babies the management of their bodies, so based in instinct and non-verbal communication, totally stressed me out. But once they got a little older and could articulate how they were feeling inside, some hint of what they needed, there were few times sweeter for me as a mother than when they were sick. I would just stop everything and practice what I called the Ministry of Being With. You need to curl up on the couch and watch cartoons while I feed you sips of liquid and ply you with saltines, periodically flinging your arm out so that your hot, sweaty hand rests on my cheek? Let's do that. The rest of the world can go hang.
Now that they are teenagers we're mostly back to instinct and non-verbal communication. And no snuggling! I never imagined I would miss the closeness of their sweaty, feverish, heavy bodies, but I do.
Kudos to and admiration for all you parents and guardians of little bodies out there. May their caregivers be blessed with strength and brilliance. May those in need of healing experience renewal of body and renewal of spirit.
Even with big kids - who look you in the eye and bolt out the door without a goodbye hug or kiss, we are keepers of bodies too. I love this imagery of these words Courtney.
Thank you for re/naming this very particular response to these small bodies we care for. I am a bit lost these days, flailing amidst the avalanche of fall events, changing schedules, and viruses-a-plenty. This is a reminder to me to heal out -- because there's nothing I love more than to help heal others so why not do it for myself too?! [wipes brow]
I really adore the phrase, "Mothers are keepers of bodies". It certainly applies perfectly to my own mother. Now Courtney captures its brilliance with unmatchable eloquence. Thank you! Now I must get Ross Gay's book because Courtney recommends it. DD
I will confess that when my babies were actual babies the management of their bodies, so based in instinct and non-verbal communication, totally stressed me out. But once they got a little older and could articulate how they were feeling inside, some hint of what they needed, there were few times sweeter for me as a mother than when they were sick. I would just stop everything and practice what I called the Ministry of Being With. You need to curl up on the couch and watch cartoons while I feed you sips of liquid and ply you with saltines, periodically flinging your arm out so that your hot, sweaty hand rests on my cheek? Let's do that. The rest of the world can go hang.
Now that they are teenagers we're mostly back to instinct and non-verbal communication. And no snuggling! I never imagined I would miss the closeness of their sweaty, feverish, heavy bodies, but I do.
And mothers never stop being "keepers of bodies" ... and souls, no matter the age of the child. 💜
Care work and mothering are revolutionary acts in a broken, capitalist world. Thank you for capturing this so intimately.
Kudos to and admiration for all you parents and guardians of little bodies out there. May their caregivers be blessed with strength and brilliance. May those in need of healing experience renewal of body and renewal of spirit.
Even with big kids - who look you in the eye and bolt out the door without a goodbye hug or kiss, we are keepers of bodies too. I love this imagery of these words Courtney.
Thank you for re/naming this very particular response to these small bodies we care for. I am a bit lost these days, flailing amidst the avalanche of fall events, changing schedules, and viruses-a-plenty. This is a reminder to me to heal out -- because there's nothing I love more than to help heal others so why not do it for myself too?! [wipes brow]
I really adore the phrase, "Mothers are keepers of bodies". It certainly applies perfectly to my own mother. Now Courtney captures its brilliance with unmatchable eloquence. Thank you! Now I must get Ross Gay's book because Courtney recommends it. DD
Thank you for this stunning piece of writing-what a gift to my Mama heart today!