My friend’s kids recently went on a trip with their papa, leaving her in the house alone for a whole week. After a year of being piled on top of one another, I could hardly imagine what that kind of disentangling of limbs and energies would be like for me. Would I have withdrawal symptoms, shaking at the absence of my babies’ bodies? Would I revert to my 25-year-old self, eating nachos for every meal and sleeping until—gasp—9am? Would I just sit on my couch staring at the walls and trying to integrate the last year of mayhem?
Courtney describes accurately the feelings of transitioning from all-consuming motherhood drenched in every moment of her child's life, to re-entering the world of selfhood, if only for some of the time. We love our children and they always come first, and we love our self-time too.
I found myself in tears by the end of this. You’ve captured all my feelings. Last week I had my first trip away from my eight year old son for over a year when my husband and I went to New York for 5 days. I’ve loved your writing for years, but this piece made me subscribe at last. (Also I’m turning the same number as the annual amount in a fortnight - seemed right! 😳) Congratulations on the book.
This is exactly what I write about in my memoir...that reconstitution takes able attention and maybe some help. And it is a long process, to be known as the multitudes that motherhood makes us and all that came before–by one's self and by others, & especially our children. To dancing, xoS
Oh, all of this! As a mom of a three year old and 10 month old, I am swirling somewhere in the midst of it all. You put so beautifully into words all the feelings that come with mothering.
I love the turn at the end of this! And I know it's such poor form to quote oneself, but I don't really think of it as my line: the circle whose center is everywhere. That idea has lived with and within me for a handful of years now. What does it mean to be, be becoming, that kind of circle? A constellation of constellations.
My children are now 34, 31, and 29 and today, finally, for the first time since COVID began, I got to hug them long and hard and spend a maskless day with them together. (I know- the differences between your pandemic life and mine must feel like the difference between Mars and Pluto.) They came over and helped me! We all worked together to make my yard beautiful again. It was magical to feel the incredible people they have become, to see them, and to be truly seen by them.
I’m happy in my solitary life as I explore my multitudes with plenty of time, AND those child rearing years enriched my multitudes immeasurably, in ways I’m still discovering.
Courtney describes accurately the feelings of transitioning from all-consuming motherhood drenched in every moment of her child's life, to re-entering the world of selfhood, if only for some of the time. We love our children and they always come first, and we love our self-time too.
I found myself in tears by the end of this. You’ve captured all my feelings. Last week I had my first trip away from my eight year old son for over a year when my husband and I went to New York for 5 days. I’ve loved your writing for years, but this piece made me subscribe at last. (Also I’m turning the same number as the annual amount in a fortnight - seemed right! 😳) Congratulations on the book.
This is exactly what I write about in my memoir...that reconstitution takes able attention and maybe some help. And it is a long process, to be known as the multitudes that motherhood makes us and all that came before–by one's self and by others, & especially our children. To dancing, xoS
Oh, all of this! As a mom of a three year old and 10 month old, I am swirling somewhere in the midst of it all. You put so beautifully into words all the feelings that come with mothering.
I love the turn at the end of this! And I know it's such poor form to quote oneself, but I don't really think of it as my line: the circle whose center is everywhere. That idea has lived with and within me for a handful of years now. What does it mean to be, be becoming, that kind of circle? A constellation of constellations.
My children are now 34, 31, and 29 and today, finally, for the first time since COVID began, I got to hug them long and hard and spend a maskless day with them together. (I know- the differences between your pandemic life and mine must feel like the difference between Mars and Pluto.) They came over and helped me! We all worked together to make my yard beautiful again. It was magical to feel the incredible people they have become, to see them, and to be truly seen by them.
I’m happy in my solitary life as I explore my multitudes with plenty of time, AND those child rearing years enriched my multitudes immeasurably, in ways I’m still discovering.