55 Comments
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Louise Dunlap's avatar

Each time, each time you write about your love for your dad, I think this will be my favorite. This one, THIS one helps me call up these word-jewels and shared moments from my own dad. The one that's speaking to me these days--which I never appreciated at the time--is "Take it easy, Miss!" There was so much love and care in these words, and it's good to feel it now.

Courtney Martin's avatar

Ha! I love that one - "Take it easy, Miss!" And you are still saying that to yourself amazing Louise!

Louise Dunlap's avatar

YES! At 87, I'm finally learning the wisdom of not pushing myself. And somehow my father knew it all along!

Lisa's avatar

Thanks for noticing (and having) such a sweet little conversation at the grocery store … and sharing it with us here. And may blessings continue to show up with and around your dad!!

Sheila Anderson's avatar

Simply achingly gorgeous!🩷

Asha Sanaker's avatar

Oh, Courtney. I'm holding you so tenderly in the Light.

I got a message from my mom tattooed on my arm this past summer in her perfect teacher handwriting. I wrote about it, and death and love and legacy and nurse logs, this past summer. Perhaps it will meet you where you are:

https://ashasanaker.substack.com/p/nurse-logs

I hope you get that tattoo. I look at mine every day and it is a deep and abiding comfort to me as I stare down her mortality. It also reminds me what she means to me when the frustrations of elder care crowd to the front of my mind, which doesn't appear to be your trouble, but maybe you also have those moments?

Courtney Martin's avatar

Asha! What a gorgeous tattoo and essay. Thank you so much for sharing. And yes, of course, the frustration of sandwich generation caregiving sometimes wears me the hell down. Good to have our touchstones to help us keep the main thing the main thing.

Speaking for Spot's avatar

What a lovely way to start my day!

Mary Manning's avatar

That is such a beautiful piece, Courtney...thank you. The love you shared with your Dad oozes from your words. And how lovely that you could connect in such a special way with the young man at the cash desk!

My best friend is in the advanced stage of vascular dementia now, and oh, I so miss hearing her gentle voice as she said my name...there was something so precious about it. 💔💗

Courtney Martin's avatar

I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope you have an old voicemail or something.

Karen Sisco's avatar

Courtney - you have such a precious ability to turn some random moments in daily life into a sharing of the deepest, most tender thoughts and memories . Your stories about your dad fill my heart with love and appreciation for you and your loving family .

It helps me to better handle my sweet husband of 55 years decline into dementia . Thank you ! Keep going strong, girl .

You’ve got this in the most beautiful of ways !

Courtney Martin's avatar

Sending you so much love and solidarity for the journey with your husband.

Brian Wonnick's avatar

We connect so well with personal stories told simply with a touch of humour."Is that right?".

Blessings, Brian

Linda Mowrer Wilson's avatar

You are indeed lucky to have Jere and Ron for parents. I had them for friends 60 years ago. They are both truly beautiful people. So smart and so kind.

Lindsey's avatar

My dad died suddenly at the end of 2022, and it has been so healing for me in my own grief process to read along with all you are sharing about your own dad and his journey with dementia. This is so beautiful, thank you 🙏

Courtney Martin's avatar

Thank you for letting me know, and I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope you can still hear his words for you.

Lisa's avatar

Oh my, this is so beautifully full of heart. Thank you....🧡

Anubha Sood's avatar

Thank you for this beautiful piece.

Ernest Pancsofar's avatar

You bring the richness of your dad's legacy to your readers in such a tender way.

Paul Kim's avatar

BEAUTIFUL! Thank you Courtney! and I hope that you and Chris get tattoos...

Shari's avatar

I have rarely read something both so directly connected to my deepest, most shaping experiences and so beautifully- yet simply and authentically- told. What a gift you were to each other, and now to that lovely human in Trader Joe's and so many of us out here. Thank you.

Courtney Martin's avatar

Wow, such a generous piece of feedback. Thank you.

Star Wuerdemann's avatar

Thank you. I love how this starts with an exchange with a stranger and leads back to your father. I, too, found myself wishing he'd been mine.