Jesus, Courtney, the amount I am crying in my pajamas right now is NOT SMALL. What a beautiful piece. What a beautiful tribute to your community and home and family and, well, everything. And what a gift to pass on, not just to the new family in your home, but to all of us. Thank you.
What an absolutely stunningly beautiful letter. I was filled with so many emotions - mostly tears! It brought me back to a secret letter that I wrote in 6th grade when my parents sold the house I had grown up in till that point. I hid the handwritten note in the drawer of my closet with a key that didn't unlock anything but I hoped would prompt curiosity to explore. I can't remember the words from 30ish years ago, yet I remember the vivid desire to convey how special my room, the closet, the arch of the Oak branch in the front yard were. I ached for another kid to feel the richness of care that our home had provided to me, a space to explore and grow and yearn and be held. Sadly, the oak tree out front where I'd desperately wanted a horse to be tied up outside one Christmas, the gravel driveway, the garage turned into a bedroom, the house, are no longer there on Aberdeen. I hold the sentiment of that letter in my heart and loved reading your adult version of it this morning.
The new owners of your previous home are lucky to have this lettter. May they come to know your assortment of neighbors as friends. Your daughters will have lots of sweet memories of the years the four of you (plus one cat) shared that space. ❤️
18 hrs ago·edited 18 hrs agoLiked by Courtney Martin
what a wonderful story. Thank you...and I read the comments to find that you are living another way now and what a blessing you will be for your parents - but going forward I hope you find another cohousing community/neighborhood We moved from community to single family for many good reasons, but 40 years later are making a new community again.
This piece made me think of this quote:). Thank you for the gift of your writing
“ Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow.”
A little glowing box of light-what a beautiful description. Thank you for sharing this gorgeous letter. It makes me want to reflect on our home and how we’re growing and changing.
Also, yesss to the beauty of a community courtyard! We live in a townhouse co-op in Alameda, and watching the kids play in the courtyard, with our older neighbors bringing them Toblerones and me praying the kids baseball doesn’t smash their window, is a true parenting delight. Thanks for igniting this memory ❤️
I've written heartfelt letters to the sellers of homes we hoped to make ours (and two have worked a charm), but I've never gone in this direction (or received such a letter in either). This is such a tangible manifestation of bringing relationality into what is usually the most rank transactionality and really embodying belief in oikos. Thanks for sharing it. I'm passing it along to our EcoGather Intentional Communities study group, too.
Ah, that makes me so happy Nicole. I hadn't thought about the connection to the letters folks write to try to buy a house, which I understand are a potential source of bias in the already very biased industry! Thanks for this and much love to your study group.
I’m extremely moved by your exquisite farewell as well as the readers’ comments. It’s an inspiring and eloquent dialogue. I recall visiting your former home years ago and being impressed by its beautiful spirit of community. Thanks also for the explanation of why you made this hard, wholly admirable decision. DD
As I have lived in my home for 37 years, I would have a lot to say, having brought three kids home here, having nursed in particular places for a total of 7 years, having watched all the kid milestones here, having written, graded papers, hosted family gatherings with long traditions, seen my parents here with my children...loved two special dogs... I think there would be a lot of consistency in description for people who have lived in one home for a long time.
If you feel comfortable, I'd love to hear why you chose to move. As someone who has had to make a LOT of these tough choices (I live in NYC, so use your imagination there) it'd be helpful to hear someone I admire explain their decision-making process! :)
It was a decision of necessity, really, but leading to lots of beauty and sweetness. My family of origin has moved in together, so my brother and I can take care of my dad, who has dementia, alongside my mom. We live with my parents. My brother's family lives 5 minutes away. I am drawing on so many of the lessons and structures of cohousing to create a new version of interdependent life - including a weekly family dinner, regular family care plan meetings, and shared resources and parenting.
Of all the way-too-many newsletters I receive in the storm that is post-modern email, yours Courtney is the one I read most, and today reminds me why. Your capacity to share your life story in a way that is humble, inspiring and relatable - an 'alternative/normal' human-mom-woman feeling her way through this wild moment to in America, on Earth - brings me both up to spirit and back down to ground, all at once. Thank you.
And I'm curious where you moved to.. and as someone who's devoted his life to intentional community, and despite all the failings, still sees it as the most sane and viable hope for our species (if we really dare to tune into the meta-picture), I am so curious your experience in co-housing community, and if this is a move more towards a nuclear-family home/life, or something else..and how, in your so beautiful of ways, reckon with the paradox in all of that.
I loved living in cohousing. So so much. And also it was sometimes hard and required a lot of intentional energy and communication skills and all the rest, as you well know.
I now live in a multi-generational household and I am a sandwich generation caregiver. I am drawing on so many of the lessons and structures of cohousing to create a new version of interdependent life - including a weekly family dinner, regular family care plan meetings, and shared resources and parenting.
This is a lovely letter that I am sure the new family will hold dear.
I grew up as an Air Force Brat,so I did not ever get attached to a house,as such. Our home was our family and we thought everyone lived that way. You will make your new living situation a warm ,loving place ,just like your previous home.
Jesus, Courtney, the amount I am crying in my pajamas right now is NOT SMALL. What a beautiful piece. What a beautiful tribute to your community and home and family and, well, everything. And what a gift to pass on, not just to the new family in your home, but to all of us. Thank you.
💕
What an absolutely stunningly beautiful letter. I was filled with so many emotions - mostly tears! It brought me back to a secret letter that I wrote in 6th grade when my parents sold the house I had grown up in till that point. I hid the handwritten note in the drawer of my closet with a key that didn't unlock anything but I hoped would prompt curiosity to explore. I can't remember the words from 30ish years ago, yet I remember the vivid desire to convey how special my room, the closet, the arch of the Oak branch in the front yard were. I ached for another kid to feel the richness of care that our home had provided to me, a space to explore and grow and yearn and be held. Sadly, the oak tree out front where I'd desperately wanted a horse to be tied up outside one Christmas, the gravel driveway, the garage turned into a bedroom, the house, are no longer there on Aberdeen. I hold the sentiment of that letter in my heart and loved reading your adult version of it this morning.
I couldn't love this story more. WOW! How beautiful. I guess I am just that little kid, hiding a letter in the closet.
<3
Wow, this is so beautiful. I want to write one about my home, or maybe my starter home. Great idea and lovely piece. Thanks ❤️
The new owners of your previous home are lucky to have this lettter. May they come to know your assortment of neighbors as friends. Your daughters will have lots of sweet memories of the years the four of you (plus one cat) shared that space. ❤️
what a wonderful story. Thank you...and I read the comments to find that you are living another way now and what a blessing you will be for your parents - but going forward I hope you find another cohousing community/neighborhood We moved from community to single family for many good reasons, but 40 years later are making a new community again.
Ah, seasons of life! Thanks for giving me the long view in this moment of change and grief.
This piece made me think of this quote:). Thank you for the gift of your writing
“ Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow.”
Melody Beattie
Wow, how wildly relevant. Thanks so much for sharing.
A little glowing box of light-what a beautiful description. Thank you for sharing this gorgeous letter. It makes me want to reflect on our home and how we’re growing and changing.
Also, yesss to the beauty of a community courtyard! We live in a townhouse co-op in Alameda, and watching the kids play in the courtyard, with our older neighbors bringing them Toblerones and me praying the kids baseball doesn’t smash their window, is a true parenting delight. Thanks for igniting this memory ❤️
Love that scene. Thanks for sharing it.
I've written heartfelt letters to the sellers of homes we hoped to make ours (and two have worked a charm), but I've never gone in this direction (or received such a letter in either). This is such a tangible manifestation of bringing relationality into what is usually the most rank transactionality and really embodying belief in oikos. Thanks for sharing it. I'm passing it along to our EcoGather Intentional Communities study group, too.
Ah, that makes me so happy Nicole. I hadn't thought about the connection to the letters folks write to try to buy a house, which I understand are a potential source of bias in the already very biased industry! Thanks for this and much love to your study group.
I’m extremely moved by your exquisite farewell as well as the readers’ comments. It’s an inspiring and eloquent dialogue. I recall visiting your former home years ago and being impressed by its beautiful spirit of community. Thanks also for the explanation of why you made this hard, wholly admirable decision. DD
These words, your ability to capture and share the moments of your life, is your gift and a great service to your readers.
As I have lived in my home for 37 years, I would have a lot to say, having brought three kids home here, having nursed in particular places for a total of 7 years, having watched all the kid milestones here, having written, graded papers, hosted family gatherings with long traditions, seen my parents here with my children...loved two special dogs... I think there would be a lot of consistency in description for people who have lived in one home for a long time.
I would love to hear an essay/letter about those 37 years. I can only imagine how beautiful it would be.
If you feel comfortable, I'd love to hear why you chose to move. As someone who has had to make a LOT of these tough choices (I live in NYC, so use your imagination there) it'd be helpful to hear someone I admire explain their decision-making process! :)
It was a decision of necessity, really, but leading to lots of beauty and sweetness. My family of origin has moved in together, so my brother and I can take care of my dad, who has dementia, alongside my mom. We live with my parents. My brother's family lives 5 minutes away. I am drawing on so many of the lessons and structures of cohousing to create a new version of interdependent life - including a weekly family dinner, regular family care plan meetings, and shared resources and parenting.
"little glowing box of light" is just the most gorgeous thing.
And I am SO HAPPY that Mhairi McFarlane is on your romance list. Her books are just wonderful.
Of all the way-too-many newsletters I receive in the storm that is post-modern email, yours Courtney is the one I read most, and today reminds me why. Your capacity to share your life story in a way that is humble, inspiring and relatable - an 'alternative/normal' human-mom-woman feeling her way through this wild moment to in America, on Earth - brings me both up to spirit and back down to ground, all at once. Thank you.
And I'm curious where you moved to.. and as someone who's devoted his life to intentional community, and despite all the failings, still sees it as the most sane and viable hope for our species (if we really dare to tune into the meta-picture), I am so curious your experience in co-housing community, and if this is a move more towards a nuclear-family home/life, or something else..and how, in your so beautiful of ways, reckon with the paradox in all of that.
Ah this is so generous, thanks John.
I loved living in cohousing. So so much. And also it was sometimes hard and required a lot of intentional energy and communication skills and all the rest, as you well know.
I now live in a multi-generational household and I am a sandwich generation caregiver. I am drawing on so many of the lessons and structures of cohousing to create a new version of interdependent life - including a weekly family dinner, regular family care plan meetings, and shared resources and parenting.
This is a lovely letter that I am sure the new family will hold dear.
I grew up as an Air Force Brat,so I did not ever get attached to a house,as such. Our home was our family and we thought everyone lived that way. You will make your new living situation a warm ,loving place ,just like your previous home.
Love to you and yours,
Pammy
"Our home was our family" is such a beautiful phrase. Thanks Pammy.