I’m guessing that you, like me, have done a lot of thinking and feeling about abortion in the last couple of months. But what is it we think about when we think about abortion? The Supreme Court’s seeming disavowal of non-partisan reasoning? Religious debates about when life begins? The most tragic and extreme headlines? The so-called “abortion debate” has always struck me as painfully out of touch with the average, authentic experience of abortion, and pregnancy and birth more generally, for so many people.
Courtney, have you considered letting a book about abortion be your next book? You have such an extraordinary way of making stories personal enough for most people to relate and find compassion. I can imagine you being one of the few authors I’m familiar with who could handle this topic with grace and even objectivity. I also recognize it would be polarizing and would take so much time from your beloved family, especially once it came out. And I wanted to plant the seed (which, I’m guessing, is already germinating somewhere in there!)
Thank you for zeroing in on the many hardships and decisions that women and families must make, not just the question of whether or not to have an abortion. This is so much more multi-layered and complicated than our elected officials--on either side--profess or care to discuss. But only through understanding an individual's story do we get close enough to the issue to actually have a discussion. Interestingly, the care economy is something I just read about as a priority for Indra Nooyi, the former CEO of Pepsi. It is the backbone of our economy. Your storytelling combined with her influence...gold.
There are people who don't feel they have the emotional bandwidth in difficult times to care about people they don't know. They don't want to hear facts about, or think about, suffering outside the circle of care they define as possible for themselves.
There are also people who perhaps have some sort of need, who feel better, to assume the worst about various groups of others outside their circle of caring. From this impulse come false characterizations of people who seek abortions or people on public assistance or immigrants or people who are highly educated, or whomever. Again, people who feel gratification in believing the worst about various others may not be interested in facts or stories- may well deny facts on hearing them.
For neither of these groups is the problem lack of real, colorful information about others.
How can these hearts expand to those they would normally exclude?
I appreciate your thoughtful and grounded "take" on the abortion debate! Sex ed, family planning, contraception, pregnancy, birth, child-rearing ---- all of it -- is way more complex and nuanced than most are willing to take the time to consider! I especially found your observations of women who find themselves pregnant (while using birth control) and those with kids who must consider the very pragmatic issues of how many kids fit in the car, what paid family leave is available and how in the world does a working parent navigate the expense and time constraints of limited childcare options (a true American crisis). Sadly, when "morality" or "free choice" are the bywords of the extremists on either end of the spectrum, a real dialogue becomes nearly impossible! Keep the conversation real!
Long have I wondered why we, each one of us individually, not have control on our own body?
Why does another, often not aware of the reality of the woman's life (as you have written so beautifully in your essay) have the power to lay down the law?
And then I read this sentence: "I hunger so deeply for us to shift from a focus on control to a focus on care in this country."
Courtney, have you considered letting a book about abortion be your next book? You have such an extraordinary way of making stories personal enough for most people to relate and find compassion. I can imagine you being one of the few authors I’m familiar with who could handle this topic with grace and even objectivity. I also recognize it would be polarizing and would take so much time from your beloved family, especially once it came out. And I wanted to plant the seed (which, I’m guessing, is already germinating somewhere in there!)
Thanks for the great work you do.
Thank you for zeroing in on the many hardships and decisions that women and families must make, not just the question of whether or not to have an abortion. This is so much more multi-layered and complicated than our elected officials--on either side--profess or care to discuss. But only through understanding an individual's story do we get close enough to the issue to actually have a discussion. Interestingly, the care economy is something I just read about as a priority for Indra Nooyi, the former CEO of Pepsi. It is the backbone of our economy. Your storytelling combined with her influence...gold.
Thank you Courtney! How do we cultivate mercy in the body politic?
Thank you! good place of inquiry....control and care...
There are people who don't feel they have the emotional bandwidth in difficult times to care about people they don't know. They don't want to hear facts about, or think about, suffering outside the circle of care they define as possible for themselves.
There are also people who perhaps have some sort of need, who feel better, to assume the worst about various groups of others outside their circle of caring. From this impulse come false characterizations of people who seek abortions or people on public assistance or immigrants or people who are highly educated, or whomever. Again, people who feel gratification in believing the worst about various others may not be interested in facts or stories- may well deny facts on hearing them.
For neither of these groups is the problem lack of real, colorful information about others.
How can these hearts expand to those they would normally exclude?
I appreciate your thoughtful and grounded "take" on the abortion debate! Sex ed, family planning, contraception, pregnancy, birth, child-rearing ---- all of it -- is way more complex and nuanced than most are willing to take the time to consider! I especially found your observations of women who find themselves pregnant (while using birth control) and those with kids who must consider the very pragmatic issues of how many kids fit in the car, what paid family leave is available and how in the world does a working parent navigate the expense and time constraints of limited childcare options (a true American crisis). Sadly, when "morality" or "free choice" are the bywords of the extremists on either end of the spectrum, a real dialogue becomes nearly impossible! Keep the conversation real!
This is such a comprehensive and caring look at the whole picture. Thank you, Courtney.
Long have I wondered why we, each one of us individually, not have control on our own body?
Why does another, often not aware of the reality of the woman's life (as you have written so beautifully in your essay) have the power to lay down the law?
And then I read this sentence: "I hunger so deeply for us to shift from a focus on control to a focus on care in this country."
Is that "focus on control" the answer?
Thank you for this very powerful essay.
Anjali
Indeed.
This is SO good. Thanks for articulating it so clearly. 👏👏👏👏
Thank you for this ❤️
💞