12 Comments

Everyone needs to read this essay. Thank you dear Courtney.

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The best thing I've ever read about colour-blindness was by the amazing Camille T. Dungy, who writes, in GUIDEBOOK TO RELATIVE STRANGERS, 'There is a danger in refusing to, or tacitly agreeing not to, recognize my black womanness. Black womanness is part of what makes me the unique individual that I am. To claim you do not recognize that aspect of my personhood and insist, instead, that you see me as a “regular” person suggests that in order to see me as regular some parts of my identity must be nullified. Namely, the parts that aren’t like you.'

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Gorgeous. I love her writing -- all the more special to me because she's from my home state. Thank you Kerry! What a gift this morning.

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This was an amazing book - this reminds me it would be good to read it again - thank you!

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It really would be good! I should do it too.

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Maybe we could do an Examined Family book club gathering on zoom about it!?

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As someone who so thoroughly enjoyed reading MOUNTAINS BEYOND MOUNTAINS with you, I'd love that!

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This was really eloquent, and I appreciate the discussion so much. (Also, love Garrett, I was part of Barnraisers in Spring 2021!) My parents said the same thing growing up - "We don't see color, everyone is equal." I always felt unsettled by this, because I felt like I was *wrong* for seeing color, for noticing that there were only a handful of Black kids in my otherwise White classroom, for example. I think it's very hard for my parents (and so many of us) to acknowledge that "being colorblind" is erasure.

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Thank you very much for this thoughtful, well-written essay. In particular, I appreciated how you shared your conversation with Garrett Bucks – and his question, “What does this woman want? What is her dream for herself and her family?” As a white person who also wants to be “on the right side of history,” sometimes I miss this crucial step.

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I'm so glad to read this. I was at the City Club that night, and was surprised that you responded so positively to this woman's comment. I felt like raising my hand and calling her out!

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That would have potentially been great! I find Q&As are always a challenging space to navigate, and doubly so when the conversation is about race and legacy. I'm often trying to feel into the moment - what is the best way to work with this person's story, capacity for pushback/complication etc? I'm sure I get it wrong sometimes, and would always love support from the audience.

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Yes, yes, yes! Thank you for sharing these insights and reflections, Courtney. I'm taking notes. This section was particularly resonant as I think about authenticity and belonging in the workplace as a part of my own work:

"In fact, multi-racial friendship—trustworthy, built over time—involves a layering on; you see someone’s race and it alchemizes over a million stories and testimonies and shared moments into a totally unique part of a much larger whole of who someone is. You never stop seeing it, but it might be foregrounded or backgrounded depending on the moment, and it becomes—not a box on a census card—but a beautiful and entirely original tome. To only see someone’s race is objectification or tokenization. To not see someone’s race is erasure. To understand someone’s racial identity over time and how they relate to it (including your own by the way!) is the root of real understanding and maybe even love."

Thank you again.

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