I went to integrated schools and my parents thought nothing of it. They were colorblind. They taught us to see everyone as equal and treat everyone as equal! I was speaking about my book last week with a group of mostly older progressive White folks, when one of the women in the audience shared this anecdote. At the time, I tried to meet her non-question (during the Q&A, no less) with an optimistic question of my own—
The best thing I've ever read about colour-blindness was by the amazing Camille T. Dungy, who writes, in GUIDEBOOK TO RELATIVE STRANGERS, 'There is a danger in refusing to, or tacitly agreeing not to, recognize my black womanness. Black womanness is part of what makes me the unique individual that I am. To claim you do not recognize that aspect of my personhood and insist, instead, that you see me as a “regular” person suggests that in order to see me as regular some parts of my identity must be nullified. Namely, the parts that aren’t like you.'
This was really eloquent, and I appreciate the discussion so much. (Also, love Garrett, I was part of Barnraisers in Spring 2021!) My parents said the same thing growing up - "We don't see color, everyone is equal." I always felt unsettled by this, because I felt like I was *wrong* for seeing color, for noticing that there were only a handful of Black kids in my otherwise White classroom, for example. I think it's very hard for my parents (and so many of us) to acknowledge that "being colorblind" is erasure.
Thank you very much for this thoughtful, well-written essay. In particular, I appreciated how you shared your conversation with Garrett Bucks – and his question, “What does this woman want? What is her dream for herself and her family?” As a white person who also wants to be “on the right side of history,” sometimes I miss this crucial step.
I'm so glad to read this. I was at the City Club that night, and was surprised that you responded so positively to this woman's comment. I felt like raising my hand and calling her out!
Yes, yes, yes! Thank you for sharing these insights and reflections, Courtney. I'm taking notes. This section was particularly resonant as I think about authenticity and belonging in the workplace as a part of my own work:
"In fact, multi-racial friendship—trustworthy, built over time—involves a layering on; you see someone’s race and it alchemizes over a million stories and testimonies and shared moments into a totally unique part of a much larger whole of who someone is. You never stop seeing it, but it might be foregrounded or backgrounded depending on the moment, and it becomes—not a box on a census card—but a beautiful and entirely original tome. To only see someone’s race is objectification or tokenization. To not see someone’s race is erasure. To understand someone’s racial identity over time and how they relate to it (including your own by the way!) is the root of real understanding and maybe even love."
A word on color blindness
Everyone needs to read this essay. Thank you dear Courtney.
The best thing I've ever read about colour-blindness was by the amazing Camille T. Dungy, who writes, in GUIDEBOOK TO RELATIVE STRANGERS, 'There is a danger in refusing to, or tacitly agreeing not to, recognize my black womanness. Black womanness is part of what makes me the unique individual that I am. To claim you do not recognize that aspect of my personhood and insist, instead, that you see me as a “regular” person suggests that in order to see me as regular some parts of my identity must be nullified. Namely, the parts that aren’t like you.'
This was really eloquent, and I appreciate the discussion so much. (Also, love Garrett, I was part of Barnraisers in Spring 2021!) My parents said the same thing growing up - "We don't see color, everyone is equal." I always felt unsettled by this, because I felt like I was *wrong* for seeing color, for noticing that there were only a handful of Black kids in my otherwise White classroom, for example. I think it's very hard for my parents (and so many of us) to acknowledge that "being colorblind" is erasure.
Thank you very much for this thoughtful, well-written essay. In particular, I appreciated how you shared your conversation with Garrett Bucks – and his question, “What does this woman want? What is her dream for herself and her family?” As a white person who also wants to be “on the right side of history,” sometimes I miss this crucial step.
I'm so glad to read this. I was at the City Club that night, and was surprised that you responded so positively to this woman's comment. I felt like raising my hand and calling her out!
Yes, yes, yes! Thank you for sharing these insights and reflections, Courtney. I'm taking notes. This section was particularly resonant as I think about authenticity and belonging in the workplace as a part of my own work:
"In fact, multi-racial friendship—trustworthy, built over time—involves a layering on; you see someone’s race and it alchemizes over a million stories and testimonies and shared moments into a totally unique part of a much larger whole of who someone is. You never stop seeing it, but it might be foregrounded or backgrounded depending on the moment, and it becomes—not a box on a census card—but a beautiful and entirely original tome. To only see someone’s race is objectification or tokenization. To not see someone’s race is erasure. To understand someone’s racial identity over time and how they relate to it (including your own by the way!) is the root of real understanding and maybe even love."
Thank you again.