SPECIAL OPPORTUNITY: Join us for an Examined Family online book club meeting on Needy by Mara Glatzel this coming Friday, June 30th at 9am PST / 12pm EST!
This is such a beautiful rendering of our Third Space at the cohousing community. YES! It is so welcome to have it coming back to life. I'm the Louise Courtney mentioned (in her 80s) and I was there too this past Sunday. I had just spent the afternoon in another Third Space-- a very joyous wedding, mostly outdoors, gloriously unmasked. I think I remember being kissed by someone I knew in the crowds of happy people gathered from all over the country and beyond. But yesterday, an email from the newlyweds with a COVID update. Not just one but "a number of people." including the bride, have tested positive! The hosts wish us mild symptoms. This is indeed a season of strange and new realities. How do we share the knowledge of them--and there are a lot more than COVID--without promoting fear? I don't know the answer yet, but I know community is its mainstay.
What a lovely perspective, thank you!! As a newish mom who works from home, I've recently discovered the magic of 3rd (or for me, really a 2nd) spaces.
Your community neighborhood sounds absolutely incredible; That's something I would love in a future life for my family!
One of my third spaces remained active during the pandemic, the local park, which serves as a community intersection, though it was suddenly much more crowded and so felt very different.
Another, the zoo where I work, came back to life pretty soon, because again, it was/is outdoors, though it was suddenly a masked place.
My third is a coop group for disabled toddlers and their families that just became unmasked. For whatever reason, I only just realized that I am not only the oldest regular there but the oldest by 30 years. A nanny there told me yesterday that her twins always talk about how they are going to get to see Omama! The pandemic separated small children from old people.
How I wish I had this sort of community - it’s so hard to gather intentionally like this without the “common” spaces. So glad you and yours have each other. 🩷
I love this, and all so true, Courtney. We used to have big holiday parties in our barn and have not resumed them, even after we have had what seems like 5,000 boosters. However, July 22nd will be our 40th wedding anniversary, so we will once again turn the lights on in that third space!
Your description of a common meeting place sounds wonderful. I can guess how much you missed being together during the pandemic. People, it turns out, usually need to be around other people. Of course, there will be those who prefer to isolate, but most of us mean to have contact with other humans. I hope all of your are reconnected by now.
We have a lovely park next to the school and you can always find someone to have a chat with. It’s a really lovely asset. Yesterday was the last day of school and we met my son’s pals and parents at the “secret tree”, a clearing tucked away in the back of the park for a picnic and a chat while the kids climbed trees and played.
Courtney, thanks for your story/perspective. I am glad your community has overcome those challenges.
I also live in cohousing, and we have not come back well, and I hear many other communities are struggling. We faced similar challenges to your community and yes, the CH was just about abandoned and became a source of fear, conflict and tension. So much fear mongering and judgement in general. A proposal regarding the use of guestrooms during the pandemic split our community apart and other conflicts around the CH have added to our splintering.
Finally, this spring, larger groups have been getting together for potlucks as the meal plan was abandoned and not resurrected. our community is over 20 years old, and we have many elders and inactive members adding to our challenges. Not sure what will happen. I wish the cohousing association would officially address this since this is affecting the life of many communities and I hear in some cases, making it hard to sell homes. thanks for showing us how your community has rebounded.
I forgot to add that I have observed how many other groups, political and small nonprofits have had huge challenges and how the atmosphere has changed. Adding on to that the positives and negatives of new technologies like zoom. It was great when it was essential but then, when people started to gather in person again, many preferred to stay home on zoom instead of walking a few steps to the CH. I went to one in person meeting of a political group I belong to that used to get over 200 people attending before covid. Now, there are maybe 30 people in the room and the meetings are hybrid. A very different atmosphere and energy. I find that when I am at home on zoom, I am easily distracted and not 100% there.
Sad to see how some small groups have dissolved and others have had many leadership changes and many fewer members.
I find that once you step away from something, it is harder to come back than to create something new.
In my community, many people have rethought their commitments, styles etc. and have chosen to engage less. It will be interesting to see how things develop.
I have finally gotten reenergized and am going to solidarity actions with labor and feel reenergized.
So glad you are feeling re-energized! I hear you on all of this. The hybrid aspect brings great new flexibility but is also sort of a diluted experience. We're all trying to figure it out, right?
I also, of course, feel for you on the cohousing struggles. We shifted from a twice a week, fully cooked meal to once a week, alternating potlucks and a cooked meal. It's make it feel way easier on everybody to ease back in, though it wasn't everyone's favorite plan from the beginning.
We had to overcome a lot of moments of awkwardness and sometimes even real rupture, so I understand the need for repair, too. It's been hard. I hope you all can come back together and heal when and how it works.
I appreciate so much that you replied to Judith in this sincere way.
By the way, it was lovely to see your name and work mentioned in a book I just finished reading! The reference was to your interviews with people who grew up as children in cohousing.
The book is called Everyday Utopia, by Kristen Ghodsee. She is a professor of Eastern European Studies at UPenn.
This is such a beautiful rendering of our Third Space at the cohousing community. YES! It is so welcome to have it coming back to life. I'm the Louise Courtney mentioned (in her 80s) and I was there too this past Sunday. I had just spent the afternoon in another Third Space-- a very joyous wedding, mostly outdoors, gloriously unmasked. I think I remember being kissed by someone I knew in the crowds of happy people gathered from all over the country and beyond. But yesterday, an email from the newlyweds with a COVID update. Not just one but "a number of people." including the bride, have tested positive! The hosts wish us mild symptoms. This is indeed a season of strange and new realities. How do we share the knowledge of them--and there are a lot more than COVID--without promoting fear? I don't know the answer yet, but I know community is its mainstay.
Yes, we
What a lovely perspective, thank you!! As a newish mom who works from home, I've recently discovered the magic of 3rd (or for me, really a 2nd) spaces.
Your community neighborhood sounds absolutely incredible; That's something I would love in a future life for my family!
One of my third spaces remained active during the pandemic, the local park, which serves as a community intersection, though it was suddenly much more crowded and so felt very different.
Another, the zoo where I work, came back to life pretty soon, because again, it was/is outdoors, though it was suddenly a masked place.
My third is a coop group for disabled toddlers and their families that just became unmasked. For whatever reason, I only just realized that I am not only the oldest regular there but the oldest by 30 years. A nanny there told me yesterday that her twins always talk about how they are going to get to see Omama! The pandemic separated small children from old people.
Yes, the intergenerational segregation was so devastating. I have really seen impacts of that. I'm so glad these "third spaces" have you, F.
How I wish I had this sort of community - it’s so hard to gather intentionally like this without the “common” spaces. So glad you and yours have each other. 🩷
Another reason to gather together, irresistibly captured by this portrait of a successful and inspiring community!
Thanks so much for this eloquent account of what it’s really like to live the dream. Gratefully, DD
I love this, and all so true, Courtney. We used to have big holiday parties in our barn and have not resumed them, even after we have had what seems like 5,000 boosters. However, July 22nd will be our 40th wedding anniversary, so we will once again turn the lights on in that third space!
Happy happy anniversary! What a huge thing!
How wonderful for children to grow up in your community. Inspiring, for sure.
Your description of a common meeting place sounds wonderful. I can guess how much you missed being together during the pandemic. People, it turns out, usually need to be around other people. Of course, there will be those who prefer to isolate, but most of us mean to have contact with other humans. I hope all of your are reconnected by now.
We have a lovely park next to the school and you can always find someone to have a chat with. It’s a really lovely asset. Yesterday was the last day of school and we met my son’s pals and parents at the “secret tree”, a clearing tucked away in the back of the park for a picnic and a chat while the kids climbed trees and played.
Courtney, thanks for your story/perspective. I am glad your community has overcome those challenges.
I also live in cohousing, and we have not come back well, and I hear many other communities are struggling. We faced similar challenges to your community and yes, the CH was just about abandoned and became a source of fear, conflict and tension. So much fear mongering and judgement in general. A proposal regarding the use of guestrooms during the pandemic split our community apart and other conflicts around the CH have added to our splintering.
Finally, this spring, larger groups have been getting together for potlucks as the meal plan was abandoned and not resurrected. our community is over 20 years old, and we have many elders and inactive members adding to our challenges. Not sure what will happen. I wish the cohousing association would officially address this since this is affecting the life of many communities and I hear in some cases, making it hard to sell homes. thanks for showing us how your community has rebounded.
I forgot to add that I have observed how many other groups, political and small nonprofits have had huge challenges and how the atmosphere has changed. Adding on to that the positives and negatives of new technologies like zoom. It was great when it was essential but then, when people started to gather in person again, many preferred to stay home on zoom instead of walking a few steps to the CH. I went to one in person meeting of a political group I belong to that used to get over 200 people attending before covid. Now, there are maybe 30 people in the room and the meetings are hybrid. A very different atmosphere and energy. I find that when I am at home on zoom, I am easily distracted and not 100% there.
Sad to see how some small groups have dissolved and others have had many leadership changes and many fewer members.
I find that once you step away from something, it is harder to come back than to create something new.
In my community, many people have rethought their commitments, styles etc. and have chosen to engage less. It will be interesting to see how things develop.
I have finally gotten reenergized and am going to solidarity actions with labor and feel reenergized.
So glad you are feeling re-energized! I hear you on all of this. The hybrid aspect brings great new flexibility but is also sort of a diluted experience. We're all trying to figure it out, right?
I also, of course, feel for you on the cohousing struggles. We shifted from a twice a week, fully cooked meal to once a week, alternating potlucks and a cooked meal. It's make it feel way easier on everybody to ease back in, though it wasn't everyone's favorite plan from the beginning.
We had to overcome a lot of moments of awkwardness and sometimes even real rupture, so I understand the need for repair, too. It's been hard. I hope you all can come back together and heal when and how it works.
I appreciate so much that you replied to Judith in this sincere way.
By the way, it was lovely to see your name and work mentioned in a book I just finished reading! The reference was to your interviews with people who grew up as children in cohousing.
The book is called Everyday Utopia, by Kristen Ghodsee. She is a professor of Eastern European Studies at UPenn.