You tell me: will we miss this?
I’ve got a commission that I’m working on and I wondered if you would help.
David Byrne’s site, Reasons to be Cheerful, has asked me to respond to the prompt: will we miss this?
They’re riffing off of a poll that showed that only 9% of Britons want life to return to “normal,” after sheltering-in: “People have noticed significant changes during the lockdown, including cleaner air, more wildlife and stronger communities.”
Let’s be crystal clear: there is no universal “this.” Some of us are essential workers—literally risking our lives for economic or professional or moral reasons. Some of us have lost our jobs. Some of us have barely taken an economic hit. Some of us have been protected by police. Some of us have been targeted and murdered by them. Some of us are being driven happily crazy by littles ones crawling over us as we try to log on to the zoom call; some of us are lonely as hell, wishing anyone would crawl on us so we could remember what human touch feels like. Some of us have lost people we love. (100,000 beloveds.) Some of us have been sick. Some of us have only experienced the coronavirus as an abstraction.
Whatever your experience, it is unprecedented, and taking a moment to reflect can be really healing. I wondered if answering these questions might be helpful for both of us? If you’re game, please leave your answers in the comment section. I bet we can learn a lot from one another.
What do you anticipate missing about sheltering-in (if anything)?
What are your biggest anxieties about things opening back up?
What have you learned about yourself in these last few months that was unexpected or meaningful to you?
What have you learned about the country you live in, and how has that learning shaped how you want to show up as a citizen?
Share a quintessential story of your sheltering-in — a small moment that really broke/touched/buoyed your heart that you never want to forget.
Stella has gone very old school during sheltering-in
Sharing a letter I wrote to my 2 year old a couple of days ago... “Dear Z, I was talking with your dad a couple of days ago about the fact that I am so grateful to be able to witness all these little things about you that I wonder if I’d have missed if we weren’t sheltering-in-place and together 24/7. I’m really seeing all these things about you and experiencing them with my whole self, not while I’m rushing out the door or just getting home. Maybe most of these things are just developmental, but they feel so you... The way you are learning to ride your bicycle and are now flying down the sidewalk, the way you are dancing with your dolls and falling in love with so many new exciting books in your bookshelves, the way you are crawling into our laps to read them... the way you are talking about your friends and family and pretend to call them on my phone to talk and see them... the way you are offering so many more kisses and also giving us detailed instructions on what you’d like to do next in the day... the way you are correcting my song lyrics and collecting baby pinecones and flowers and rocks and giving them to your fairy houses in our backyard... all the gardening and watering and watching things grow. The virtual family and friends time. The many rainbows we’ve seen. The hot tubs we’ve shared. The epic hammock swings and a couple of epic naps and nights and mornings too. The joy you experience, the adventures, the hide-and-seek. The tea parties. The bandaids. The music. The Jeopardy and the Mickey Mouse Club House! The way you hold my hand by just putting your fist inside my palm so I can wrap my hand around it. How long will it fit there? I’m so thankful that it fits today.“
My sheltering in has not been literal. I live in a very rural area - I go for walks, I see a handful of friends (one at a time) I take bike rides... but still, I have noticed not just a slowing down, but a freedom from assumptions, from habits of routine and "have to's" - while the virus granted this, it is also in the stars, quite literally - and I use a couple of really good astrological folks for my most reliable "big picture" perspective on all of it... mostly.
My biggest anxiety is that the divisiveness will continue, and that I'll be looking at a lot of masked faces.
I have learned at a deeper level how much I am nourished by the physical beauty of the world (where I live, in Maine) and how much I also need my friends.
I have also observed that the US is an extremely habitual and reactionary place, for the most part. More so than some other countries, it seems. Also, there is a lot of privelege in this country that blinds people to how fortunate they really are.
Mostly, it is the moments of meeting strangers, and really dropping into talking with them, and seeing them that has touched me. Today, I bought a used lawn mower from an elderly man who I so enjoyed talking with, I could have stayed and listened to his life story....