“The weird thing was that we had just been learning about Malala, and how she got shot in the face, and then we were hiding next to the bookshelf because someone might have a gun and be coming into our school.” My daughters—6 and 9 years old—were hunched over their instant ramen, slurping up their noodles on a Friday night. This was my 9-year-old, almost casually reporting on the day that they had just had at our neighborhood public school in Oakland.
“When I was little, people smoked everywhere and didn’t have seat belts. Then our nation changed. When you were little, guns were easily available everywhere. Then our nation changed.” That’s the conversation I’m praying to have with my kids… Text READY to 644-33 and connect with your local Moms Demand Action group. They have a plan and need your voice. It’s always the right time to join. ❤️🩹
Thanks for citing "Moms Demand Action", prompting me to donate again. The Nashville tragedy comes as another traumatic symptom of the epidemic of violence pervading our country. It's infected our society at many levels, including the domestic sphere where families are continually brutalized by abuse. We surely need more people like Courtney who urge strong action, whether to combat war on the international scene or to oppose violence in our schools and homes. DD
Thank you so so much for this post. I'm not exactly sure how to express what I'm wanting to say here, but reading this helped me allow the Tennessee news to sink into my body in a way that felt more gentle and thoughtful than what I was trying, and failing, to do for myself since hearing the news. It also gave me some language to use with the people I love who view guns very differently than I do. It's so easy to fall into the paralyzing fear of all of this.
Thank you for sharing this. Reading about your daughters experiences was very tough. About an hour ago my daughters college in a city was on lock down, we were informed, because of a possible active shooter. What you feel at your core as a parent is utter panic and when I received the message all is okay my panic turns to extreme sadness and compassion for all these families impacted by gun violence. For the families who have lost their children. For the children who have witnessed such violence. Thank you Courtney for the reminder it hasn’t always been this way and collectively we can have some power over change. I must hold at my core that we can keep our children safe.
What I loved the most about this, Court, is the way you took a moment where it's so easy to focus (understandably) on our micro-fear for our kids off at school and wove a larger and larger web of caring and connection-noticing, one big enough to hold all of us.
Thank you, Courtnay. As someone said above, this is a sermon. I’m sorry you had to have that conversation with your littles. It’s so hard. I’ve been opting my kids out of our schools drills and will definitely be listening to that podcast! This week has been hard - I’ve tried to get my thoughts down on paper, I’ve meditated and cried...I don’t know how we are supposed to just carry on when month after month we are subjected to this horror show.
Mar 29, 2023·edited Mar 29, 2023Liked by Courtney Martin
Excellent piece of writing Courtney (as always). My heart aches for you, other parents, teachers, and this country. It's so beyond time to stop this madness.
I dream of that time also, Courtney. I was blessed to raise my children in a time before all this violence took over. I can't imagine the conversations parents must have today. But there are my grandchildren to consider now and WOW! How can we be complacent about innocent children and people dying? Just unimaginable! I am doing my part to get reasonable limitations but I live in Texas where guns are God.
I have three children, so I understand the outrage and fear that parents feel following each of these incidents.
The issue that nobody seems willing to consider is that “the right to keep and bear arms” is an enumerated right in the bill of rights. At the time it was written, gun ownership was a given. The founders wanted to make sure that right was preserved. Their concern was that citizens be able to defend themselves against a tyrannical government (since that’s what they had escaped)). They didn’t trust that the government put in place would always be led by people with the same beliefs as those who created it.
One could reasonably argue that the. “well ordered militia” makes the Second Amendment irrelevant in today’s culture. That may be true, but it’s still in there. I wouldn’t take a case to SCOTUS based on that argument, though. The “well -ordered militia “ part is a subordinate clause, meaning that the rest of the sentence could stand without it. That may sound silly, but SCOTUS recently decided a case based on the absence of an Oxford comma. A COMMA!
My point is that taking out your pain and outrage on congress for not taking action is misplaced. Any serious gun laws would be struck down by SCOTUS. As it should be.
What we need to make meaningful changes to gun laws is a constitutional convention. Changing the Constitution is hard, as it should be. And as much as I understand the pain and rage driving people to demand stricter gun laws, you have to ask yourself which other enumerated rights (the Bill of Rights) you’d be comfortable with the government completely ignoring them. I understand wanting to ignore THIS right, but once you do that, it sets a precedent. What right would you be comfortable in the hands of an administration you disagree with, knowing the could just ignore them at will?
Back when Congress issued the Patriot Act, I was on board. It was just after 9/11, and, whether you agree with me or not, I trusted the administration to use that power in the right way. With the next administration, I saw that power being abused. That was a big lesson for me. I decided then that I would never back legislation from an administration I trusted unless I could support it in the hands of an administration I didn’t trust. HUGE turning point for me.
understand the rage and emotion driving the demand for gun laws NOW. But it has to be done right -- through amending the Constitution. Read the Bill of Rights and ask yourself if the are other rights you’d be willing to have the government ignore. If so, keep up with the fight for gun control. But if there’s anything in there that you’d be willing to have ignored--especially by an administration you distrust, funnel all af that pain and anguish into some thing that will make a real difference-- a Constitutional Amendment.
The day of having that conversation, I fear, may never come. I've been in my classroom when news of a school shooting showed up as a news alert on my cellphone. My own schools have had lockdowns due to citizens having conflict. I made the day the news of Uvalde, again in my gun loving state, my last. Society isn't just losing people to death, nurses are worn out with the carnage. Teachers are worn out at worrying when it be our schools. Parents have the only power to stop this, and I fear, our fears, will never allow us to
Thank you for this. I remember last year when my then 3 year old came home and had us practice a lockdown. I tried to play along even as I bit back tears. “Shh. Wait until the police come to tell us it’s ok,” she instructed.
I married into a family that regards guns as utilitarian. I don’t think they would use the word precious though. My partner is a hunter. I have gone along with him hunting and appreciated the deep reverence he embodied for nature in this act that could be - from the outside- considered violent.
I wonder how the messaging of pro-gun folks got so closely linked with extremism and intolerance. In additional to the losses of way too many students and educators, and the pain and suffering of their families and communities, I think of the pain and suffering Audrey, the Nashville shooter, also must have suffered on account of intolerance. This weaponized inability to respect and welcome and hold people of all identities is so deep.
Utilitarian or precious, guns should never be tools of intolerance. Thank you for speaking that so clearly. ♥️
“When I was little, people smoked everywhere and didn’t have seat belts. Then our nation changed. When you were little, guns were easily available everywhere. Then our nation changed.” That’s the conversation I’m praying to have with my kids… Text READY to 644-33 and connect with your local Moms Demand Action group. They have a plan and need your voice. It’s always the right time to join. ❤️🩹
Having grown up in the unprogrammed Quaker tradition I don't have a lot of experience with sermons, but this was a sermon, no mistake. Thank you. ♥
Thanks for citing "Moms Demand Action", prompting me to donate again. The Nashville tragedy comes as another traumatic symptom of the epidemic of violence pervading our country. It's infected our society at many levels, including the domestic sphere where families are continually brutalized by abuse. We surely need more people like Courtney who urge strong action, whether to combat war on the international scene or to oppose violence in our schools and homes. DD
Thank you so so much for this post. I'm not exactly sure how to express what I'm wanting to say here, but reading this helped me allow the Tennessee news to sink into my body in a way that felt more gentle and thoughtful than what I was trying, and failing, to do for myself since hearing the news. It also gave me some language to use with the people I love who view guns very differently than I do. It's so easy to fall into the paralyzing fear of all of this.
Thank you for sharing this. Reading about your daughters experiences was very tough. About an hour ago my daughters college in a city was on lock down, we were informed, because of a possible active shooter. What you feel at your core as a parent is utter panic and when I received the message all is okay my panic turns to extreme sadness and compassion for all these families impacted by gun violence. For the families who have lost their children. For the children who have witnessed such violence. Thank you Courtney for the reminder it hasn’t always been this way and collectively we can have some power over change. I must hold at my core that we can keep our children safe.
People do love their own children enough. It is the safety of other people's children, anonymous people's children, that is undervalued.
Beautifully stated. Thank you for writing it.
What I loved the most about this, Court, is the way you took a moment where it's so easy to focus (understandably) on our micro-fear for our kids off at school and wove a larger and larger web of caring and connection-noticing, one big enough to hold all of us.
Thank you for this. For helping me dream a tiny bit about what could be.
Thank you, Courtnay. As someone said above, this is a sermon. I’m sorry you had to have that conversation with your littles. It’s so hard. I’ve been opting my kids out of our schools drills and will definitely be listening to that podcast! This week has been hard - I’ve tried to get my thoughts down on paper, I’ve meditated and cried...I don’t know how we are supposed to just carry on when month after month we are subjected to this horror show.
Excellent piece of writing Courtney (as always). My heart aches for you, other parents, teachers, and this country. It's so beyond time to stop this madness.
I dream of that time also, Courtney. I was blessed to raise my children in a time before all this violence took over. I can't imagine the conversations parents must have today. But there are my grandchildren to consider now and WOW! How can we be complacent about innocent children and people dying? Just unimaginable! I am doing my part to get reasonable limitations but I live in Texas where guns are God.
I have three children, so I understand the outrage and fear that parents feel following each of these incidents.
The issue that nobody seems willing to consider is that “the right to keep and bear arms” is an enumerated right in the bill of rights. At the time it was written, gun ownership was a given. The founders wanted to make sure that right was preserved. Their concern was that citizens be able to defend themselves against a tyrannical government (since that’s what they had escaped)). They didn’t trust that the government put in place would always be led by people with the same beliefs as those who created it.
One could reasonably argue that the. “well ordered militia” makes the Second Amendment irrelevant in today’s culture. That may be true, but it’s still in there. I wouldn’t take a case to SCOTUS based on that argument, though. The “well -ordered militia “ part is a subordinate clause, meaning that the rest of the sentence could stand without it. That may sound silly, but SCOTUS recently decided a case based on the absence of an Oxford comma. A COMMA!
My point is that taking out your pain and outrage on congress for not taking action is misplaced. Any serious gun laws would be struck down by SCOTUS. As it should be.
What we need to make meaningful changes to gun laws is a constitutional convention. Changing the Constitution is hard, as it should be. And as much as I understand the pain and rage driving people to demand stricter gun laws, you have to ask yourself which other enumerated rights (the Bill of Rights) you’d be comfortable with the government completely ignoring them. I understand wanting to ignore THIS right, but once you do that, it sets a precedent. What right would you be comfortable in the hands of an administration you disagree with, knowing the could just ignore them at will?
Back when Congress issued the Patriot Act, I was on board. It was just after 9/11, and, whether you agree with me or not, I trusted the administration to use that power in the right way. With the next administration, I saw that power being abused. That was a big lesson for me. I decided then that I would never back legislation from an administration I trusted unless I could support it in the hands of an administration I didn’t trust. HUGE turning point for me.
understand the rage and emotion driving the demand for gun laws NOW. But it has to be done right -- through amending the Constitution. Read the Bill of Rights and ask yourself if the are other rights you’d be willing to have the government ignore. If so, keep up with the fight for gun control. But if there’s anything in there that you’d be willing to have ignored--especially by an administration you distrust, funnel all af that pain and anguish into some thing that will make a real difference-- a Constitutional Amendment.
The day of having that conversation, I fear, may never come. I've been in my classroom when news of a school shooting showed up as a news alert on my cellphone. My own schools have had lockdowns due to citizens having conflict. I made the day the news of Uvalde, again in my gun loving state, my last. Society isn't just losing people to death, nurses are worn out with the carnage. Teachers are worn out at worrying when it be our schools. Parents have the only power to stop this, and I fear, our fears, will never allow us to
Thank you for this. I remember last year when my then 3 year old came home and had us practice a lockdown. I tried to play along even as I bit back tears. “Shh. Wait until the police come to tell us it’s ok,” she instructed.
I married into a family that regards guns as utilitarian. I don’t think they would use the word precious though. My partner is a hunter. I have gone along with him hunting and appreciated the deep reverence he embodied for nature in this act that could be - from the outside- considered violent.
I wonder how the messaging of pro-gun folks got so closely linked with extremism and intolerance. In additional to the losses of way too many students and educators, and the pain and suffering of their families and communities, I think of the pain and suffering Audrey, the Nashville shooter, also must have suffered on account of intolerance. This weaponized inability to respect and welcome and hold people of all identities is so deep.
Utilitarian or precious, guns should never be tools of intolerance. Thank you for speaking that so clearly. ♥️