21 Comments
User's avatar
Terry Vatrt's avatar

Thank you, Courtney, for this nuanced, sensitive, loving and wise description of parenting. My son was, and continues to be, a precious gift.

Caroline M. Grant's avatar

My kids are 21 and 24 and the car conversations continue to be excellent! Thanks for this and the great SFGate piece (which inspires me to dust off my ukulele)

Lauren Gambill MD MPA's avatar

I love when parents of older kids (turned adults) talk about the magic that lingers. We dont always hear about how great parenthood can be as the grow up. thank you :)

Robert Currie's avatar

I would just like you to know that I am so glad you're a Mom, and I am so glad your daughters are in the dance with you, and I'm beyond glad that you share all this with us. A week or two ago, you shared that you were reading Raymond Carver. For years, I have carried his poem "Late Fragment" in my wallet. In the spirit of a gift economy, I offer it to you.

And did you get what

you wanted from this life even so?

I did.

And what did you want?

To call myself beloved, to feel myself

beloved on the earth.

You are beloved, Courtney.

Courtney Martin's avatar

Ah, what a sweet note. Thank you, Robert. That poem is one to live by.

Laura  Costain's avatar

I love those car ride questions. I’ve been known to go into detail about how hard childbirth is with my boys in an effort to give them a deep appreciation for women and our bodies. Such a beautiful response from you and what amazing children you are raising!

Courtney Martin's avatar

Car ride questions really are the best, aren't they?! Sending love to you, Laura.

Lauren Gambill MD MPA's avatar

I love this so much.

John Cary's avatar

It's both the most rewarding and most frustrating job but it's worth it. My wonderful wife who raised 6 kids and let me hang around would say - the hardest thing about being a parent is patience. I'd say your daughters are pretty darn lucky. Moms are special in ways that only a mother can be. Now ii have to call one of our smart children to learn what "Transmogrify" means! I was a broadcasting major. Nothing more than 3 syllables! Nice job - with your blog and with life's most important endeavor.

Lisa Sibbett's avatar

Beautiful, Courtney. Damn.

Dennis Dalton's avatar

The photos of Maya and Stella move me to tears because I haven’t seen them in so long and they remind me of their parents!

You are incredibly fortunate to have them at this age! Time slips away quickly, far more than we can possibly realize. At age 88, and a grandparent, I somehow want to convince young people to please cherish these moments and make them memorable. DD

Brian Wonnick's avatar

the story is very good, the pictures are heartwarming & say it all, Brian

Kristen Sawyer's avatar

I’m in the initial phases of this torturous magic with a 1 and 3 year old. I love seeing the world through my toddlers eyes- this morning she said the grape juice was kush (her synonym of the day for delicious). My 1 year old has the best curls and the best laugh. And yet I’m home sick today with a body battling yet another child-induced cold and I’m staring at old photos of me adventuring in wild places. Kleenex in my pj pocket. Going to make tea. Your words brought comfort.

Courtney Martin's avatar

It’s all the things, isn’t it?

Kristen Sawyer's avatar

It really really is

Mia Alvarado's avatar

Lily and Finn! I love that story!

FR's avatar

I think it is the right call to answer in an age-appropriate way. As we get older we improve most, I think, in our ability to understand and handle complexity and to see beyond our own particular social milieu.

In this case, it is very individual, depending on the circumstances of mother and child- poverty, a child's or parent's health challenges or disability, famine, living in a war zone... and then the personality of the parents, what sacrifices feel easy to one person feeling impossible to the other... How much help you have... how many kids you have...

But young children don't need to think about all this, I think.

Pam Hinton's avatar

It is the the hardest job you will ever have and the most fun at the same time.

Lynn Young's avatar

Oh YES YES YES!! Thanks for your transparency, Courtney! Sharing the whole of the real in real time. (Or almost, anyway!!) Forty years ago I got a baby shower card I still remember. It read: “Parenting makes life more textured.” Bam! I love that your little (or not so little!) ones can ask. I love that you gave yourself a beat before you responded. Filtering at the highest level! Mwah to you and yours. You’re in the home-stretch of this marathon. Of course, then comes all the rest as we parent phenomenal and complex children! With different, surprising questions! Xox

Maura Casey's avatar

Well said. Happily, I liked every age. They were all different. I loved them as babies, chased after them as toddlers, enjoyed watching them grow intellectually and even liked the challenging questions of the teen years. Now I get to experience all that with The Grands. Lucky me. Your baby girl is beautiful, by the way.

Steph's avatar

🎯 Agreed. It is all of this! Parenting is by far the wildest ride of my life—and I’ve done a lot of rides! My kids are pretty spread out in age, so I’m momming one through college into adulthood 😳, another through the thick of teen angst 😩, and still another through learning to read and analog clocks 🤓. I SO relate when you say, “You can be in here if you don’t talk.” 😆🙈