'Adventure no longer has to almost kill me'

5 questions for former firefighter, author, and tough broad Caroline Paul

There are so many qualities to admire in a person—genuineness, generosity, a wicked sense of humor, talent, passion—but one of the qualities I crave most in my friends is the unbeatable combination of a status quo-questioning coupled with a sense of adventure. For that combo, there’s really no better friend, role model, or author, than Caroline Paul, whose new book is out next week—Tough Broad: From Boogie Boarding to Wing Walking—How Outdoor Adventure Improves Our Lives as We Age.

I LOVE this book. And I would LOVE it even if I didn’t LOVE Caroline, which I do. It is full of portraits of women I relished meeting—embodied, free-thinking, creative, courageous, limit-embracing, nature-loving, communal older women. I am a very physical person—I once sweat it out on basketball courts and lacrosse fields, I love dancing, hiking, swimming (especially in rivers, lakes, and oceans!), yoga, long walks with dear friends—but I’m not a skilled outdoors woman or extreme sport person (marathon? hard no). So I did wonder if this book would make me feel soft and inadequate. Nope. Instead, I met woman who represented a wide range of physical activity, relationships with the outdoors, even skill levels. What a diverse joy. I think you’ll relish it, too.

Without further ado, meet a one-of-a-kind, Caroline…

Courtney Martin: How did working on this book change the way you see yourself?

Caroline Paul: When I was younger, I was so invested in having experiences full of high adrenalin and, often, questionable decisions; if there was a near-death situation, all the better. Things like paddling first descents down unexplored rivers in Borneo, mountain biking through China, being the first to sea kayak to certain islands, or paragliding off high mountaintops.

Now, for the book, I went birdwatching. No surprise: I secretly thought it would bore me! But I had completely underestimated the way that looking deeply at wildlife offered exhilaration and anticipation -not to mention that connection to the outdoors -  like any of my old adventures had. Just watch a Swainson hawk lit up against a blue sky to understand how deeply you gasp. Hear the call of a green heron and look around wildly for where it came from - that’ll raise your heart rate and spike your endorphins. Adventure for me no longer has to almost kill me, is what I’m saying. I realize that my capacity for awe is much more important to me now than my need to be a badass.

So many people associate outdoor adventure with one brave, physically fit hero, but so much of this book is about friendship and community. Were you surprised by that? 

So surprised! For most of my young life I had such a limited definition of adventure. Now I was writing a book that urged us to go outside even as we aged. What is adventure, I had to ask. Why is it good for us? 

Take the Wave Catchers, a group of sixty-, seventy-, and eighty-year-olds who boogie board three times a week together. Boogie boarding, where you lie on what is essentially a floating cafeteria tray, is a sport I had always associated with kids. I’d never done it because it looked, well, pretty tame. But once in the ocean, there was the pure kinetic joy of catching a wave with other people, the unruly aspect of rough-and-tumble play, and the connection I felt as we alerted each other to an incoming set.

It made me realize, “Oh, this is what adventure has always been for me.” The high adrenalin, the insane risk, that was in many ways just window dressing. In addition, the fun the Wave Catchers were having together was a direct rebuke to all that negative messaging that insists that, for older women, aging sucks. Here you go, a depressing slide into frailty and boredom and isolation, we are told. Trust me, none of the Wave Catchers were feeling frail, bored, or alone that day.

Make no mistake, for Tough Broad I also interviewed a 52-year-old BASE jumper, went scuba diving with an 80-year-old, learned to fly a gyrocopter, and paddled a SUP in high winds and camped overnight. Yet despite these activities looking more “adventurous,” the real rewards were very similar - camaraderie, challenge, wellbeing, physical vitality. Adrenalin is still there, it just isn’t always the most impactful aspect of the experience.

How did you find all of these amazing women?

The challenge is that women tend to be documented much less than men, and older women much less than that. They also don’t trumpet their own exploits, certainly don’t take selfies and post, so it wasn’t always easy. I hired an experienced researcher who scouted Instagram, Facebook and the Internet in general, but I also didn’t keep the book idea a secret, so in conversation people often volunteered names of outdoorsy older women they wanted me to talk to. 

Tough Broad is not about these women, it’s about the unsung principles that are vital for fulfilling aging, and how to get them in your life through outdoor adventure. But the women who took me on each of these adventures really made those principles come alive - they are living, breathing, laughing examples of how novelty, physical challenge, a robust social life, and purpose can make aging a rewarding, transformative experience.

How do you guess that this book would have been different if it were about older men adventuring? 

Women and men get vastly different messaging about who they should be throughout their lifetimes, and that includes this later stage. Society gives older men all sorts of vibrant futures: you can still be Indiana Jones running through tombs looking for treasure, for example. Meanwhile older women don’t have role models like that. We are either invisible to the cultural zeitgeist, or we are being warned of the white-knuckle ride through weakening bones, fading attractiveness, lost sexual currency, and  impending cognitive decline. No wonder all my friends are freaked out about getting older.

It seemed very important to write a book that combats this toxic messaging, given how the research shows that our outlook on our own aging predicts just how well we will age. If we view aging as a time of exploration and vitality we will be healthier and happier, it turns out. Sounds like woo-woo stuff, I know, but it’s been replicated in studies over and over.

Yes, many of the positive effects of getting outside apply equally well to men. Men need social connection, men need the health aspects of tree chemicals and birdsong, men need to build neural systems by using a map and compass. But they don’t need to upend their own limited expectations like we do. They don’t need to completely demolish myths about their strength and decision making skills, and their capacity for risk and exhilaration. That’s where Tough Broad really treads new ground, connecting the outdoors with our own sense of self in powerful ways.

Also, we can’t forget that older women face a sea change in their endocrine system with perimenopause, then menopause. As our extreme caregiving hormones decrease, we begin to consider who we are now and what we need. But that’s not easy; loosed like that from years of taking care of children, partners, parents, and colleagues, we often find ourselves adrift and uncertain. I wanted Tough Broad to speak to this inflection point in ways that it couldn’t have if the book had been aimed at older men too. 

Caroline with Kittie “Miss Kittie” Weston-Knauer who, at 75, is the oldest female BMX bike competitor racing today. She taught Caroline how to pedal a race track, and they raced together that day.

What’s your next big or not so big (I loved the range in the book in this regard) adventure? 

I’ve become obsessed with the idea of navigating by the stars with a sextant. Otherwise, it looks like my big adventure is releasing this book, which can feel like a near-death experience, trust me.

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We have donated to Direct Action Everywhere, an organization dedicated to stopping animal suffering in a myriad of ways, in honor of Caroline’s labor. Buy the book here. Tell us about your dreams for adventure and awe in the comments!